Nothing's Unconditional
by Nurse Ansalong
Summary: Damaged and abandoned, Starscream is picked up by the Autobots.. and a human. Will he be able to accept their help, or will other forces keep him trapped in Megatron's abusive clutch?
1. Summary and Disclaimer

Disclaimer; I do not own Transformers, they belong to Marvel or Hasbro. Or some company from Japan. Unless those guys ARE from Japan. Whatever, not mine! Millie is mine though. All mine.

The chapter titles.. hell, the story title, all lyrics from The Bravery and Ok Go. I do not own any of the lyrics in this song at all, I'm not affiliated with The Bravery or Ok Go.

Plot; Injured physically and mentally, Starscream has been left behind by the Decepticons after a battle. Optimus and Ratchet take him in. He's faced with the realisation that he really isn't wanted by Megatron. He's spiraling towards a dangerous depression, and the only one he sees when he looks up is the Autobots' human friend, Millie. More importantly, will he let her help, or will his Decepticon mindset prove too much? And what happens when the Autobots turn on him?


	2. Something for Nothing

So, new story. I have a thing for angsty tortured Starscream being helped along by a human. Wtf, my snake is being adorable. Anyway, read my story!

* * *

_§ I've spent my whole life surrounded  
I've spent my whole life alone  
I wonder why  
I've never wondered why  
The easiest things were so hard _§

Rubble. Smoke. Sparks. Pained groans. Starscream lay on his back, completely offline. His spark, however, was buzzing quietly, humming, and Optimus could sense this. He was helping clean up after a massive battle, the dead Autobots set to one side. They were to be transported back to the Autobots base and interred in their crypt if they were beyond repair. They were also looking for survivors, and Starscream was the eighth one to be found after the battle. He would also be the only Decepticon spared.

"Prowl, I'm making a run back to the base. I have a survivor here. Keep searching though, and let the others know where I've gone," Optimus called to his friend.

"Who is it?" Prowl asked curiously. Optimus hesitated.

"Starscream. I'd like to keep him alive if at all possible, and we can use him as a trade with the Decepticons," Optimus said quickly, ignoring Prowl's frown.

"Well Optimus, it's up to you. If you think it's safe, I'm not going to argue with you," Prowl said, unwilling to fight. Optimus lifted Starscream's body and let him rest over his shoulder before jogging towards the Autobots base a mere two miles away. As he entered the base, he called out for Ratchet.

"I'm a little busy, Optimus," Ratchet called back.

"That's ok. I've got an injured Decepticon, I'll put him in the holding cell and have Millie wash him off for you," Optimus answered. "I've got to get back to the field." Optimus walked to the holding cell, which was bare save for the table in the center of the cell. He set Starscream's body on it and restrained him. He left the cell, and called Millie from the med bay. The human girl had befriended Bumblebee and was now part of the Autobots team, a background in nursing giving her a place in Ratchet's heart as well. "There's an occupant in holding cell two, I need you to wash him off before Ratchet can start any repairs. He's a Decepticon, so you'll need to be careful. I restrained him, but if he's combative, you may still need to watch him."

"No problem. I'll get right on it," Millie answered, and she went for a bucket to fill with warm water and soap. She gathered her supplies and slipped into the dark holding cell. Her light brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail, and her green eyes fell to Starscream's unmoving body in a combination of nervousness and sympathy. She set about cleaning him off, starting with his arms, then his torso. She moved back up to his face, and as she ran the sponge over his cheek, his optic opened. It scared her, and she took several steps back. Starscream said nothing to her, just stared. He realised he'd been abandoned again, left behind for dead. It was the killing blow to his ego. He no longer cared where he was, who he was with. He was disassociating as fast as he could. Millie stepped to his side again, and gently finished wiping his face off.

"Don't touch me," Starscream finally growled at her. She stepped back again.

"I need to clean you off. We have a medic and he's-"

"I don't want you or anyone else touching me. I don't care why you're touching me, what your intent is. Leave me alone," he said, his voice rough and his tone frightening. Millie dropped the sponge into the bucket, sighing.

"Fine," she mumbled, lifting the bucket and leaving. Starscream looked at the ceiling, his optics unfocused. The door to the cell opened again several hours later, and he growled in annoyance.

"Take it easy, Starscream," Ratchet said quietly. "I just want to help."

"The pit you do. Let me go. LET ME GO!" Starscream suddenly became violent, struggling. "I know they left me! I know you want to keep me locked up here as a bargaining tool! I don't care about any of it, let me go!" Ratchet stabbed a needle into one of the oil lines in Starscream's arm, emptying the contents of the syringe into his system. The chemical started to work quickly, and Starscream's systems slowed until his central processor fell into a state of hibernation. The noises had attracted Optimus, who had just returned with Cliffjumper, Prowl, and Hound. He stood outside the cell, watching.

"His reaction doesn't surprise me," he said, his eyes on the life function monitors.

"Not in the least. He's gotten increasingly combative since the first time we went through this," Ratchet answered with a hint of frustration. He turned to Optimus. "I think we should just let him go back and stop rescuing him. We end up in this same situation every time..."

"I understand you, Ratchet. But this time, we're going to keep him here. If Megatron really wants him, he'll ask for him back and we'll strike a deal. Otherwise, well... maybe we can help him. Tell me, how many opportunities has he had to kill us? And yet, we're still alive," Optimus reasoned. Ratchet shrugged as he started to work on the most serious of Starscream's injuries, a cracked spark case.

"It's up to you, Optimus, we all trust your judgment. I wouldn't recommend letting him out of the holding cell... or out of the restraints for that matter," he answered quietly.

"Why don't you disable his weaponry for now? Just until he's more trustworthy," Optimus suggested. Ratchet scoffed.

"Wouldn't that further upset him?" he questioned.

"It's possible. But what could he do to us? Not a whole lot, not without his guns," Optimus said. "Disable them for now. We'll worry about his reaction when it happens." Optimus left, having other business to attend to.

Ratchet frowned as Starscream stirred, rolling his head to one side than the other. His optics flickered, but Ratchet pumped more sedative into his system before he could fully awaken and react. His hands fluttered over the wires and lubrication lines feeding into his weaponry. He pulled a couple wires, disconnected the lubrication and oil feeds. Once he was sure everything was done, Ratchet called Millie back in.

"Clean him up again, it was messy procedure. Be careful though, alright?" Ratchet smiled at her a little. "I'm glad you found us, you're irreplaceable. Thank you for your help."

"Wait. Why does he always get left behind? I heard Optimus talking about it," Millie said, looking at Ratchet expectantly. He looked uncomfortable.

"We'll talk tonight, ok? Just take care of him, and come join me when you've finished," he said gently, and he hurried off to the next 'bot in need of repairs. Millie emptied her bucket, rinsed it, refilled it with warm water, and slipped into the cell. She studied the massive Decepticon before her, relating to being left behind. She took the sponge from the bucket and began wiping the oil from his chest. Starscream could feel consciousness slowly trickling back to him, and was aware of the sensation on his chest. It wasn't unpleasant, but he still wanted to be left alone. He slowly forced his optics open, only to see the same human standing near him, touching him. He tried to speak, but was only successful in emitting a mechanical purring sound. Millie looked at him.

"I'm sure you want to be left alone, but just give me a sec, I'll be out of here fast enough, just let me clean you up a bit more," she said hurriedly. He watched her as she ran the sponge over his body in gentle, deft strokes before dropping it into, and then lifting the bucket. "Anything you want?" she offered.

"Yy.. yes," he managed. "I want to be alone." She sighed, shaking her head, and left him in the darkness of the cell. He laid there, in the darkness, wondering if it was as sign from Primus himself that the female human had been there, tending to him, each time he'd woken, or if she would simply continue to agitate him. He tugged weakly at his restraints. Starscream's head tilted back, his optics closed. And the sound of Optimus Prime entering his cell did little to relax him.


	3. Every Word is a Knife in My Ear

New chapter, wherein we learn Millie's past and Starscream may be willing to, gasp, TOLERATE Autobots and a human in his presence! Don't worry, he hasn't warmed up to Millie yet. That'd be way too fast. Also for some reason I can't make my doubly S thing stay at the end of the lyrics. Boo._  
_

* * *

_§ Split me wide open and look right inside  
There's so many things that I tried to hide  
Oh you see right through me  
You always see right through me _

"Starscream? I'd like to talk to you," Optimus said, shutting the door behind him. Starscream glared at him, then tensed and tugged at the restraints again.

"I don't really have a choice in this, do I?" he snapped back, irritated, frustrated, hurt. Optimus stood several feet away, trying not to invade Starscream's personal space, trying to keep him as calm as possible.

"You were left behind again, Starscream. Megatron knew you were still alive, but he left anyway. So, I've decided-"

"I _know_ he left! Obvious, or I wouldn't be here!" Starscream yelled, not wanting to hear it.

"Starscream, please-"

"Please what? Calm down? I've been deserted, I'm in the last place I'd ever want to be, and here you are trying to play hero again! Do you realise that at least half the injuries I've sustained were from you, specifically? And you're going to stand here and act like you think you can fix everything!" Starscream shouted. He jerked his arm, trying to get a weapon from it, be it from the blasters mounted at his shoulder, or from his whole arm transforming into a gun. When he got no response, he shot a glare at Optimus. "Very clever, Prime. Disable my weaponry." Optimus sighed, trying to keep his temper.

"Will you listen to me? We're keeping you here because after the next battle, you'll just end up here again. We won't be using you as a bargaining tool-" Starscream interrupted him once more.

"What, do you think you can change me?" He strained at the clamps around his wrists and ankles again. "I'm a Decepticon warrior, a great one at that, I'm not going to suddenly change because Optimus Prime thinks he can improve my situation!" Starscream's optics were narrowed, and he was shaking with emotion, with pent up anger.

"So you admit you're not under the best of circumstances," Optimus countered.

"Of course I'm not! I'm in the Autobot base, tied up, with no defense system!" he shrieked back.

"No. That isn't what I meant. They don't want you, Starscream, and this is something-"

"I already told you I know that! If that's all you wanted to talk about, I'm not interested! Get out, leave me!" Starscream shouted. Optimus stood, staring at him, half expecting him to have a change of heart. But Starscream, if he had a heart, had no idea how to access it, and simply turned his head from Optimus. "Go." And Optimus left, but not before releasing Starscream from his bonds. He scurried to a corner and curled in on himself, head on his knees, optics directed at the door, but completely unfocused, until they shut off and Starscream fell into a deep recharge mode.

§º§

Millie sat cross-legged on the floor of Ratchet's personal quarters. She had her own quarters, but routinely slept with Bumblebee and spent most of her free time with Ratchet, tittering back and forth with him regarding medical issues. Ratchet himself was standing in the doorway.

"Starscream has always been a power hungry monster. It's no secret that he wants to control the Decepticons. However, it may stem from the fact that... This is stupid," Ratchet murmured. He shook his head. "Megatron mistreats him. I've seen him shoot Starscream, degrade him. They're evil, it shouldn't matter. But when Starscream fails to make killing blows, when he runs from battle as opposed to running into them, it's got a few of us wondering if his heart really lies in battle, particularly with the Decepticons. As of late, they've been leaving him behind following battles. They gather their comrades, the ones they deem worthy, and they've left him, probably 5 times now," he finished. Millie blinked.

"So, Optimus feels bad, because the bad guy is being abused?" she asked, sounding a little confused. "He doesn't think he's bad?"

"Well, he is, to an extent. Most of it's from being brainwashed. He wasn't always bad," Ratchet explained. "He and Skyfire used to be best friends. But that was a long, long time ago." Ratchet straightened himself and went to his bed, sitting on it. "Why don't you go get some rest? Bumblebee's good as new, and I'm sure he's wanted to see you, you've been busy with me all day." Millie stood and made for his door.

"Good night, Ratchet."

"Sleep well."

Millie wandered down the hall, hesitating at Bumblebee's room. She kept going, past the med bay, to the holding cell where Starscream was. He looked to be offline, and she let herself into the cell, sitting right at the door in case she needed to run. Starscream heard her, but made no move towards her. He decided to tolerate her, so long as she didn't try to touch him or get him to talk to her.

"I was left behind, too," she said quietly after several long minutes of just sitting there. Starscream failed to respond. Millie took this as an invitation to continue. "I was in my room, staying away from my parents. They didn't abuse me, exactly, but man. Talk about neglect. They'd leave me behind at stores and such, eventually I stopped going anywhere with them. Anyway, the house caught fire. They left without me. They were safe, who cared if I was. So I threw most of my stuff out the window, and followed it. When I hit the ground, I gathered it all and took off. I never went back. I guess they think I died. No one cared. I expected that, though," she said, playing with one of the rubber bracelets around her wrist. Starscream opened his optics and looked at her. She wasn't looking at him. Millie stood up and turned to the door. "Just. You aren't the only one who's been left behind. I figured, if you even heard that, it might make you feel better." She opened the door and left. Starscream sat unmoving, his optics unfocused again. They slowly started to close, and he fell back into a light recharging state.

§º§

_Megatron struck him across the face. His vision was failing, his balance was going, his hearing was momentarily lost._

"_You worthless traitor! Sparkless coward, you don't deserve to be here!" Megatron roared. He struck Starscream again, and he fell to the floor. Megatron leaped on him. He yanked his spark casing open and tore at his spark with his bare claws. Starscream was screaming, sobbing in pain. Megatron then took his head in his hands and smashed it against the floor nearly a dozen time before getting up. "Get up!" Starscream groaned weakly. "You disgust me." Starscream was very dazed, and couldn't stand. Megatron kicked him sharply before walking away, leaving him leaking oil and lubricants. _

"_Nn... no... please..." he whimpered, feeling large hands lifting him._

"_Don't struggle. You're safe here." It was very clearly Optimus' voice, but Millie had lifted him. She was nearly three times his size. She smiled, and Starscream felt... warm. Safe. It was an unfamiliar, but very welcome sensation. He didn't want it to go._

"_Get up!" Was it Megatron again? He couldn't tell. "Get up, Starscream!"..._

§º§

"Starscream. Get up. I need to check you over." Not Megatron. Ratchet. He blinked groggily, trying to shake the dream. "Come on. I'll let you sleep when I'm done." Starscream growled under his breath, expressing his annoyance. Ratchet looked at his optics, made sure his joints were moving smoothly. He reached for Starscream's chest, to make sure the spark casing was still alright, but Starscream pulled away.

"I'm fine. Get out of here," he said sharply to the medic. Ratchet was baffled.

"The casing was cracked, I just want to make sure it's healing," he said gently. Starscream opened his chest himself. The crack was still there but had improved since the previous day.

"I'm fine! Now leave!" he snapped again. As Ratchet left, Starscream noticed Millie standing just outside the door. She looked at him for a long moment before turning and following Ratchet to check on the other badly injured 'bots. After they'd finished with rounds, Ratchet went to find Optimus.

"Starscream isn't interested in cooperating, Optimus," Ratchet reported, his hand on the back of his head.

"I expected this. It's hard to help someone who doesn't want you to help," he said with a sigh. "I'd like to give him some time. He's only been here over night. Keep an eye on him though, alright?"

"Do you really expect him to change, Optimus?" Ratchet pressed, looking doubtful.

"The only way to find out is to try."


	4. Give In

Starscream is an angry lil' muffin. Poor fella._  
_

* * *

_§ All I want is everything  
All the things that you think of me  
All that you've tricked yourself to believe §_

Ratchet stared at the holding cell where Starscream was. Day three of his stay had started, and Ratchet needed to check in on him, to make sure the injuries were still healing. Starscream, however, had no interest in making this easy. Ratchet looked down at Millie.

"Stay back, ok? He's very combative," Ratchet warned.

"Why not keep him restrained?" Millie offered.

"He'd probably tear his limbs off trying to get free," Ratchet grumbled. Millie took a couple steps back as Ratchet opened the door and entered the cell. Starscream lunged at him, but was deflected as Ratchet raised an arm defensively. "Would you calm down already?! We aren't going to hurt you, how many times do I have to tell you that?" He gave Starscream a shove, pushing the seeker back.

"I don't fear you, you couldn't hurt me if you wanted to. I don't want you to keep checking up on me like I'm some kind of youngling! Let me go or leave me alone!" Starscream growled. He started to swing at Ratchet. Ratchet ducked and instinctively struck out at Starscream, his hand connecting firmly with the side of Starscream's head. Stunned, he stood staring at Ratchet, who stared back just as stunned.

"Hey, Starscream, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Just do your exam and get out of here," Starscream said quietly. Ratchet checked Starscream's optics, made sure his damaged wings could still move, made sure his joints rotated without any lag. He left quickly, not looking at Millie, not beckoning her to follow him. She watched him rush off, then turned back to Starscream who was still standing in the middle of the room. He took several steps backwards until he hit the wall, and he slid down it until he was sitting. His optics went to Millie. Neither of them spoke.

"You would be wise to follow the Autobot," Starscream said finally.

"But are you alright?" she asked, worried for the one person... well, bot, that understood abandonment as she did. Starscream just stood and rushed to door of the cell. It scared Millie and she hurried off as well, down the hall and out of sight. Starscream turned angrily and smashed the table (that he learned could double as a bed, if he desired), ripping it from the floor and slamming it against a wall. Ratchet, 5 rooms away with Millie, tending to Brawn, sighed and stood.

"Millie, take care of him. I'll be back," he said quietly. He rummaged through his med case and pulled out a syringe full of tranquilisers and went to Starscream's cell. "What's the matter with you?" Ratchet yelled at him. Starscream threw the table at him, but it bounced off the iron bar door.

"Let me go already! You don't need to keep me here! Let me go or I'll get myself out!" Starscream roared back. Ratchet hesitated, then slipped into the cell. Starscream rushed him, but Ratchet was ready. Defending himself with one arm, he raised his other hand to Starscream's neck and jammed the needle into an oil line, effectively sedating the enraged Decepticon. Starscream wobbled, glaring at Ratchet, then fell to his knees... to his aft... and finally ended up leaning back against a wall, his optics dimming as he was forced offline. Ratchet walked back down the corridor, peeked in at Millie. She was reworking some circuitry in Brawn's arm.

"Everything ok in here, Millie?" he asked. She looked over at him.

"Is he ok?" she asked. Ratchet was surprised at her concern.

"Yeah, he's fine now. I need to talk to Optimus, will you be ok without me?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure. I'm almost done here, I'll wrap this up and take a break," she replied, turning back to Brawn. Ratchet left, leaving Millie and Brawn alone.

"Why do you care about him?" Brawn tested. Millie shrugged.

"He was abandoned. I was neglected. We're similar. I can relate. And maybe that's what he wants," she offered. Brawn just laughed.

"He's a nasty, bitter, power hungry Decepticon, he wants control of the universe and nothing else," he said, shaking his head. Millie closed the panel on his forearm.

"Good as new. You should be able to move it about as you please," she smiled. Brawn rotated his arm, tested the joints. He thanked her, and they both left the room, though they went opposite directions. Millie stood at the door to Starscream's cell, looking in at the downed biomecha. She opened the door just enough to slip in, and she walked over to him. She looked up at him, at his face. He looked almost peaceful. She put her hand on his leg and let her eyes wander over his body.

"You don't look so scary. It seems like it's just a front. Big tough guy facade," she murmured. Millie sat at his foot, leaning against the side of his leg, her hand still gently stroking him. "Can't help but feel sorry for you." Leaning against Starscream's leg, his metal 'skin' warm and vibrating quietly with life, Millie unintentionally fell asleep.

Voices. Loud voices. Accusing tones. Millie awoke to find herself in Bumblebee's hands, and he was yelling at Starscream from outside the cell.

"She was there when I woke up! You're lucky I didn't kill her!" Starscream snapped angrily.

"Yeah, and I'm supposed to believe you just gently picked her up and put her down at the door so someone could get her?" Bumblebee argued. Starscream rushed the door, slamming his fists against it.

"Just keep her out of my cell, away from me! I won't show the same mercy next time!" he spat, and he turned away, retreating to the back of his dark cell. Bumblebee stormed away, and then suddenly remembered Millie in his hands.

"What were you doing in there? Did he hurt you?" he asked her quickly scanning her vitals.

"I went in there, I was checking up on him. He must have moved me. I'm sorry, I just feel so bad for him..." Millie trailed off. Bumblebee patted her head.

"I want to help him, too, but it's hard trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped," Bumblebee said, sounding a little bummed about the whole situation.

"Maybe we aren't helping him the way he wants," she suggested. "The thing about nursing is you can't treat any two patients the same way. And if you forget this, the odds are good you'll have a mess on your hands. case in point."

"Well, stay out of his way for a while. Let Ratchet see him instead, at least until he calms down," Bumblebee stated, putting Millie on his shoulder. She leaned against his head.

"It's really hard being an emotional nurse," she said, biting her lip. "You get wrapped up in some patients. They tell you not to, but it's so damn hard."

"It's better to care too much than to not care at all."

§º§

Optimus was ready to tear Starscream apart as he walked up to his cell. He'd heard that Millie was found in his cell and that Bumblebee had "saved" her, but the details were sketchy. However, given Starscream's current state, Optimus was only able to think the worst. He found Starscream sulking in the back of his cell.

"What did you want with Millie?" he demanded. Two bright red optics met his. Starscream curled in further on himself.

"I don't want anything to do with her. She was here when I woke up. I put her by the door so someone could get her out of here without having to get anywhere near me," he said quietly. Optimus looked stunned. He wouldn't put it past Millie to try to be affectionate towards him. That was what the Autobots liked so much about her bedside manner.

"What made her want to be here?" he asked. Starscream snorted.

"Ask her yourself."

"Is there anything I can get you?" he asked, feeling a bit guilty at having been so accusatory. Starscream just put his head back down on his knees.

"I don't want to see you med 'bot anymore. If someone has to check on me, let it be the girl. At least she doesn't try intimidation tactics," he grumbled.

"How can I be sure you won't hurt her?" Optimus pressed. The optics in the dark were visible again.

"I didn't hurt this time. Why would I hurt her again? I'd rather not have to see anyone, I'd like to leave, but it seems I don't get to vote on this matter," he spat.

"Very well," Optimus said with a sigh. "She'll be here tomorrow morning." With that, he left to inform Millie of her new patient.


	5. It Keeps Me Here

Starscream has a run-in with Ironhide that takes him from violent to depressed. Yay! Welcome back Blood Shifter, and thank you Meirelle for the tranq idea!

* * *

_§ Stranded with this bitch called hope  
It keeps me here  
When all I wanna do is go  
It keeps me here  
When all I wanna do is disappear §_

"Can we talk?" Optimus asked. Starscream glared at him.

"You keep wanting to talk. That was always your weakness, talk all day and never shoot," Starscream grumbled. "What do you want? Why is he here? Can't you just send the girl in here so I can be left alone for the rest of the day?" Optimus ignored him and entered the cell.

"Ironhide is here in case you get combative. I want to make a deal with you. I'll let you out of the cell, providing you don't hurt anyone or try to take off," Optimus offered. Starscream narrowed his optics.

"I want little more than to leave this base, and I would if I had the chance." He instantly regretted saying that. _You dolt. You should have agreed. You could have taken off while everyone was recharging. Stupid!_

"You're going to have to stay here until I can trust you," Optimus said, shaking his head.

"We can't risk you hurting anyone," Ironhide added.

"Me hurting someone else?! You disabled my weaponry, how the Pit do you expect me to injure someone? You should be worried about me, I can't even defend myself!" he yelled. He was very afraid, even if he hid this beneath his anger. "I just want to leave and you, you say you're my enemy and that you can't stand me, you tried to kill me, and now you're keeping me here trying to change me, how, by pumping me full of tranquilisers?! I don't want your help or your sympathy!" Starscream swung his fist at Optimus, but Ironhide reached out and grabbed his wrist tightly, blocking the punch. Starscream yanked on his arm. "Let go of me!"

"Ironhide, stop, let him go," Optimus said quickly. Ironhide only tightened his grip, denting Starscream's wrist. He began to panic, flashbacks of Megatron's abuse causing old wounds in his mind to reopen. "Let go, it hurts..."

"Ironhide! Enough, let him go!" Optimus said strongly. Ironhide gave one last hard squeeze, shattering Starscream's wrist. The seeker shrieked in pain, pulling his useless hand to his chest.

"How am I supposed to trust you?!" Starscream threw back at them, his optics now wide with fear as he backed away.

"Until you star cooperating, you're still a hostile enemy," Ironhide grumbled. He stormed away, Optimus apologising quickly to Starscream as he followed Ironhide. They passed Millie, who was on her way to Starscream. She broke into a jog, basing, on their body language, that the meeting had gone awry. She entered the cell quietly, her eyes locked on the curled up seeker in the corner. He shifted, trying to melt into the wall.

"Hey, Starscream. I'm here to help," Millie called gently. His red optics turned to her.

"I don't need your help," he said. His voice was weak and cracked mid-sentence. Millie advanced slowly, trying not to upset him. He let her get to his side, and she then raised her hand to touch his arm. He flinched at the movement. "Don't touch me, fleshling." A mixture of oil and lubricant had pooled on the floor, draining from his wrist.

"They hurt you," she said softly.

"You're very observant," Starscream growled.

"Hey. I'm not here to hurt you or yell at you. Will you at least let me repair the damage?" Her lack of fear, the comforting tone of her voice, it baffled yet intrigued Starscream. He begrudgingly lowered his injured wrist to Millie. She sighed. "This will take a couple hours - are you familiar with earth time? Anyway, I can fix it if you'll let me."

"I wouldn't have let you examine it if I wasn't going to let you fix it," he snapped. Millie rummaged through her med case, looking for the proper parts, ignoring Starscream's angry words. He was still and quiet during the two hours that she worked on his wrist, something that surprised Millie. She looked up at him as she finished. His optics were glazed over and he looked disassociated. "Starscream?" He blinked and looked at her. "I'm done, but I need an oil IV and a bottle of lubricant, so I'll be back in a few minutes." He didn't answer, just watched her hurry down the corridor. Upon her return, she hooked up the oil IV, to replenish what he'd lost, and lubricants to get the new gears moving smoothly.

"Are you finished?" Starscream asked with no emotion in his voice after several minutes had passed. Millie was pulling the IV from his hand.

"Yes. Why, do you need me to see something else?" she questioned, concerned.

"I want you to leave," he replied flatly. She sighed, packed everything up, and left Starscream to wallow in self pity.

§º§

Later that night, Millie re-entered Starscream's cell. He looked weakly at her, but perked up slightly when he saw what she was carrying. She set down the cube of energon.

"It's low grade, but better than nothing. Anything better would probably make you sick, since you haven't had any in probably four days," she said. Starscream seemed to ignore Millie and reached for the cube, drinking it slowly, trying to make it last. "Guess your wrist is working well enough."

"It's fine. You can leave now," Starscream said quickly. Millie studied him.

"Why don't you ever want any company?" she asked. He frowned at her.

"I don't need anyone. I never have and I don't now." He looked at Millie. "Why are you always trying to talk to me? What do you want?"

"Well, I thought maybe if someone was nice to you, you wouldn't resent being here so much," she admitted. Starscream shoved the empty cube at her.

"Get out of here," he said, sounding angry. He shifted, turning his back to her. She left without arguing, dumping the empty cube in the energon storage room and retreating to Bumblebee's private quarters to sleep.

"I'm tellin' you, Millie, he won't come around," Bumblebee said, frowning a little.

"I came around to you," Millie argued.

"You're not a bitter, human-hating Decepticon though. Starscream is very full of himself and no one can help him if he stays like this. He's been surprisingly nice to you, actually,"he said, unfolding the blanket at the foot of his bed and draping it over Millie, who had a padded mat on the floor to sleep on. "Just, don't expect it to get better than this. Not for a really long time, at least." He settled into his own bed, laying on his side, looking at her. "I do think it says a lot about you that you're so willing to help. Get some sleep though, you'll need your rest for when you see Mr Sunshine tomorrow." He smiled and affectionately put his hand over Millie's back.

"Goodnight, Bumblebee."

"Goodnight, Millie."

§º§

Starscream was shaking, curled up in the corner. His optics were glazed, his face expressionless. Tears leaked from his optics as he played over memories he'd been trying to shove aside. They all involved Megatron abusing him in one way or another. Night faded into morning, and Starscream still sat in that same position, though the tears had stopped at one point during the night. The door of the cell opened, but he did not look at whoever entered.

"I brought you an energon cube," Optimus said gently. Starscream didn't move. "Starscream?"

"Leave it." Optimus put his hand on Starscream's shoulder. The seeker spooked badly, nearly knocking the energon cube over in his attempt to pull from Optimus' touch.

"Easy, I'm not going to hurt you, Starscream," Optimus soothed. Starscream buried his face in his arms. "I'll leave the energon here, you drink it when you want it. Would you like anything else?" Optimus was so surprised with the answer he received, he almost asked Starscream to repeat himself.

"Bring Millie here."


	6. Tell Me What You Can

So I'm probably rushing this anyway. I always end up rushing my stories. By the way, my previous Starscream x OC story will be going offline on Sunday night because I feel it's a shadow of what this story is. Let's say it was a practice run, eh? Also, I'm stoked you all love my OC, now I'm scared I'll mess her up, lol. And yes, I did leave a line out of the lyrics, because no two websites had the same words for that line, so without any real answer as to what the line is, well, it was omitted.

* * *

_§ I can see you're still afraid  
I wish, I wish I had some words to give  
But all that I can think to say  
Is I'll be with you everyday §_

"I know he requested you, and I know how much you want to help, but I still would like to warn you... Oh, you've seen him. He can get very upset very quickly. Choose your words carefully and don't get too close to him," Optimus drilled as Millie packed up her med case.

"Yeah yeah, I know, big tough scary guy," she mumbled. She closed the case and stood.

"I don't think you'll be needing that," Optimus said, looking at the case quizzically.

"Just a precaution. Precaution of what I'm not sure, but you never know when you might need it," she answered, walking between his legs and out of the room. Optimus followed her to the holding cell, and he frowned behind his face plate as he saw Starscream still curled in the corner and the energon cube still full at his side.

"Starscream? I brought Millie here. I'm letting her in." Starscream didn't react. Optimus opened the cell door and Millie entered, setting the med case down. "I'll be back in three hours if I haven't heard from you in that time, and I'll let the Autobots know to leave you both alone."

"Thanks," Millie said, looking up at Optimus. He left, and she turned her attention to Starscream. The seeker looked over his shoulder, to be sure Optimus was gone. "You uh, called for me? Apparently?" Millie asked, staying where she was. Starscream stayed in his corner, turning to face her and taking the energon cube. He looked down at it, swirled his finger in it. "Did you need something?" Now he looked at her.

"You keep coming to see me, you keep trying to talk to me. I assumed you wanted me to respond. If that isn't the case-"

"I know, leave, right?" Millie interrupted. Starscream looked at her for a long moment, torn between killing her and ignoring that she'd interrupted him. "Sorry," she said quickly, worried at his silence.

"I don't have anything to say," he said finally, setting the energon cube down, uninterested. "I'm here because I got left behind for the fifth time in as many battles. There's not anything else I can tell you." He buried his face in his hands. "I don't know why I wanted you here. You don't have to stay. No one ever stays." Millie advanced towards him, putting her hand on his leg. He ran his hands down his face, uncovering his optics. He looked through her, past her.

"I'll stay if you want me too. I figured you couldn't stay here alone forever," she offered. He focused on her.

"You're simply better company than the hypocritical Autobots, don't flatter yourself," he said, his tone going gruff again.

"If they keep leaving you behind, why would you want to go back to them?" Millie asked. "What do they have to offer you that makes you desire their company?" He looked at her dumbly, as if he didn't understand the question.

"Where else would I go? I swore allegiance the the Decepticons, and while I have no problem trying to over throw Megatron I would not desert the Decepticons as a whole." he answered. "I'm second in command, but I'm much better than that. I could lead a hundred times better than Megatron could ever hope too!" He slammed his fist against the floor. Millie jumped.

"Hey, calm down..." Millie tried. Starscream glared at her. She had taken several steps back from her. He took this as a sign that she feared him, and this pleased him in some way. Starscream sighed.

"They never do anything but belittle me and abandon me. All of them. And Megatron... if I had a cube of high grade energon for every time he raised his hand at me..."

"Why would you go back there?" Millie asked again. He stared blankly at the wall. She sighed and leaned her back against his leg again.

"They shouldn't keep saving me. I wish they'd just leave me out there to die," Starscream said finally. Millie wasn't sure how to respond to this. "When Ironhide grabbed me, when he snapped my wrist, all I could think about was when Megatron used to do things like that. Or worse." He crossed his arms over his knees and rested his head on them, looking away from Millie.

"You don't have to go back," Millie said quietly.

"I'm not staying here, and I'm dedicated to their cause. We need energon to survive and we can't delay that just because there might be some casualties," he said, feeling too drained to get emotional about it. "Megatron's just doing a poor job of getting it done." Millie sat, still leaning against his leg.

"I'm only a physical... body nurse. I'm not a psychiatrist," Millie said. Starscream didn't answer her. They sat in silence until Optimus returned, looking in at them.

"Millie, are you still talking with Starscream?" he asked slowly, hoping he wasn't interrupting anything. Starscream flinched at his voice, and this caused Millie looked up at him.

"She can leave now," Starscream answered. Millie stood, patted his leg, and went for the energon cube. "No. Leave it." Starscream said quickly, now looking at her. She stepped away.

"Sorry. Oh, right, I meant to do a quick check up on you-"

"I'm fine. Leave, let me recharge in peace," he said with a hint of annoyance. Millie took her med case and left, following Optimus down the corridor.

"So, I think Megatron fucked him up pretty good. He said that when Ironhide hurt him, he remembered back to Megatron hurting him," Millie informed him. Optimus nodded.

"I figured as much. Unfortunately, I think rehabilitating him, if it's even possible, will take a long time because some Autobots are not as easily swayed to help him as, say, Ratchet or Bumblebee. Speaking of, why don't you go look for Ratchet? I'm sure the rounds are dull without you," he replied, looking down at her. Millie smiled and turned to go hunt Ratchet down. " And Millie? Thank you for all your help with him."

"Any time! I like helping," she answered as she disappeared. She found Ratchet, and helped him finish his rounds. He stopped her in the corridor to talk to her.

"How was it? What did he want?" Ratchet pressed. Millie shook her head.

"Really? Nothing. He's scared and lonely. I coulda told you that two days ago," Millie said with a shrug. "He needs more help than us patching up his damaged wings, but he doesn't want to let us." Ratchet put his hand around her back.

"Then let's focus on the 'bots we can help." He walked with her to see Hot Rod, the last of the four remaining 'bots in the med bay. Ratchet let Millie take over, taking vitals and changing the energon IV and talking to Hot Rod, making him feel comfortable inside and out. _If anyone can help Starscream, it's her. She's the only one unbiased enough, anyway._

§º§

_Megatron stood in front of Starscream, glaring, arm still shaped as a cannon. They had just returned from a failed mission. Megatron was very intimidating, especially now, and especially to Starscream, who he demonstrated his power on without mercy. He walked angrily up to the seeker, optics narrowed, teeth clenched._

"_What did you think you were doing?! You disobeyed me again and it cost us the mission!" Megatron struck Starscream's face, his jaw dislocating. "What am I supposed to do with a second in command who won't listen to my orders?" Megatron blasted Starscream's chest with his arm cannon. Starscream fell backwards, looking up at Megatron disoriented._

"_I'm... sorry..."_

"_You're always sorry but you keep doing it over and over!" Megatron kicked Starscream, who curled up, trying to protect himself. This only earned him another kick, this one in the face. "You sicken me." Megatron walked away, leaving Starscream alone and bleeding in the corridor. And there, he began to cry._

§º§

"Starscream, hey, wake up." He felt small hands on his arm. "Come on, wake up." The voice was familiar, as was the touch. Starscream opened his optics and focused them on Millie.

"Why are you here? I don't need you," he grumbled groggily. He reached down and gently pushed her away from him. "Get out of my sight."

"You were crying," Millie informed him. Starscream reached up and wiped his face with one hand. Sure enough, his cheeks were wet.

"So what? Don't you have somewhere you need to be?" he snapped at her. He was horrified that the human had seen him in this vulnerable state. She just looked at him with concern.

"I really don't. I spent all day rough housing with Bumblebee and Jazz, that's how much there is to do," she admitted, looking at the floor.

"All day?" he asked, realising he had no sense of the time. "Is it dark outside? Not that they'd install a window, even a clock would be nice."

"It is dark. I guess I do have somewhere to be, bed," Millie said, sill studying Starscream. She took the empty energon cube with her as she left

"And I don't want you here again unless I request your presence!" Starscream yelled hotly after her. He stood, stretching himself, only to curl back up in his little corner and fall back into a light state of hibernation. And when he sat up the next morning, his optics landed on a digital clock stuck to the wall, right at the highest possible point that Millie could reach.


	7. Out Of line

Groon - roughly an hour  
Breem- 8.3 min  
So, Starscream loses it and cracks under the pressure. Yay? Who knows!

* * *

§ _Forgive me if I'm out of line  
I can't control myself sometimes  
I think I'm sick but I might be wrong  
I think I'm broke but it's hard to tell § _

Starscream was pacing his cell. His hands were on his head and he felt as though he were losing his mind. He went to the door and looked down the corridor. No one. Not even Millie had stopped by. It had been almost thirty six hours and the only bot he'd seen was Ratchet who set an energon cube down and left without so much as a hello. Starscream gripped his helmet tightly, letting out a frustrated noise. He dropped his hands and turned sharply, letting his head connect with the cell wall. Over and over, part of him hoping it would kill him.

Millie, who had been on her way to see Starscream anyway, heard the noise first, and rushed to get Ratchet, and the two ran to the cell just in time to see Starscream knock himself out and crumple to the floor. Ratchet reached the door before Millie, opening it and rushing to see just how much of the circuitry was still functioning in Starscream's head. His helmet was split open, and there was a fair amount of sparking, but very minimal smoke and no fluids leaking. Millie put her hands around his right thumb.

"Was he trying to kill himself?" Millie asked, looking at Ratchet. He frowned.

"He may have only been trying to knock himself out. Nothing we can't fix in a couple of hours, his helmet is cracked, but the oil and lubricant lines are in tact and the circuits have only disconnected, they're undamaged as well," Ratchet said with a sigh. He lifted Starscream's body. "Stupid slaghead." Millie followed Ratchet, wincing at the sight of Starscream's open head.

"He's not too bad, right?" she pressed as Ratchet set him on a table in an operating room and promptly restrained him.

"You're a nurse, look for yourself," Ratchet said as he set out a tray and began arranging various tools on it. Millie looked at the open wound, reaching in and reconnecting a small plug.

"Looks worse than it is, I guess," she mumbled. She took the fuses off the tray and set about replacing them. Nearly all the ones in Starscream's head had blown. Ratchet replaced a couple circuit boards, and they set about the tedious task of reconnecting everything. Once his head was closed up again, Ratchet turned to Millie.

"Thank you, you are invaluable. I'm going to leave, I think he'll respond better waking up to you than he would to anyone else," Ratchet told her, smiling a little, relieved that he had her to pick up where Starscream was refusing to let the Autobots do so. He exited, and Millie pulled up a small box to the bed on which Starscream lay, sitting on it, sorting through the damaged bits they'd removed from his head into various recycling bins. Starscream's optics fluttered open nearly 45 minutes later, right as Millie was finishing her sorting. He saw Millie, and shut his optics again, hoping she hadn't noticed.

"I can't believe you did that," she told him. She _had_ noticed, and Starscream opened his optics again, seeing no harm in it now, keeping them trained on the ceiling. "Were you _trying _to kill yourself?" He didn't answer her. He wasn't entirely sure with himself if he had been trying to kill himself or just pass out. Or maybe he was trying to erase his memory chips. He _couldn't_ answer. "At least the clock escaped damage." He didn't answer that either. He sure wasn't going to thank her. "Guess you don't want to talk about it?"

"No." Very flat, very final. Millie sighed.

"Figured. I'll go get Ratchet, he'll let you out of the restraints and take you back to the cell-"

"No. I don't want to go back there," he argued, still sounding very weak. The room had started to spin and he just wanted to rest. Millie stayed sitting on the box.

"Well, we can't trust you not to take off or get into fights. What do you suggest?" Starscream was quiet. "Tell ya what. We'll get you back to the cell, call Optimus down, and you and him can talk it over. Ok? I can't think of any other solution." Starscream looked at her but didn't speak. She patted his hand, and he flinched. She ignored this. "I'll go get Ratchet."

"Will you return with him?" he asked her suddenly. Millie stopped in her tracks and turned to him.

"If you want me to, I will. I'll let you and Optimus talk alone, though. It isn't any of my business what goes on between you two, I'll find out after the talk, anyway,"she told him, scratching her head. "Ok, half a sec..." Starscream shut his optics, hoping the room will be settled when he opened them again. Footsteps reached his audio sensors; Ratchet and Millie were returning. His optics opened and he looked at Ratchet.

"The room is spinning. You didn't do it right," Starscream said bitterly. Ratchet stood over him, Millie standing at his left leg.

"We did it just fine. Your optics and your main circuit-sensory boards just need to synchronise again. That shouldn't be longer than half a groon. If you're still having troubles, let Millie or myself know and we'll-"

"Open me up and experiment some more?" Starscream sneered. Ratchet frowned.

"I didn't have to help you at all. I could have just tossed your body, it wouldn't have made any difference to me," he shot back.

"Maybe that was what I wanted!" Starscream half shouted back. Millie made a noise and Starscream looked at her. Her hands were at her mouth and her eyes were wide. He looked back at the ceiling. "Just take me back to the cell." His voice had softened, and Ratchet gently undid the restraints, only to apply new ones, similar to shackles, to lead Starscream back down the corridor. Millie followed at Strscream's side, her hand on his leg. Starscream tolerated this, but shooed her away as he was let back into the cell.

"If you hadn't destroyed the table in here, we wouldn't have had to do that," Ratchet said to him with a vague air of annoyance. Starscream just kept his back to them.

"I'd like a word with Prime," he said, flatly. Then he sat, right where he was, not even bothering to go to his usual corner. "_Now_, if you don't mind," he added sharply. Ratchet looked at Millie who offered a shrug. They left him, to seek Optimus out.

"I told him, well, let me back up. He didn't want to go back to the cell. I told him we can't really trust him, and if he wanted out, he'd have to take it up with Optimus," Millie explained to Ratchet. He nodded.

"A very wise decision. He's made it clear that he's frustrated with being locked up, and that may be how we crack him," Ratchet answered. They spotted Optimus and Millie jogged over to him.

"Starscream would like to talk to you," she called up to him. Optimus crouched to hear her better.

"Does he? What about? He isn't usually interested in talks," Optimus said thoughtfully. Millie bit her lip.

"You know he hurt himself. Well, upon waking, he wanted nothing to do with the cell. I told him to talk to you. Maybe now a deal can be struck?" she offered. Optimus could not ignore the hopeful look on her face.

"Perhaps." Optimus rose. "I'll go have a talk with him." He made his way down the corridors, to Starscream's cell. The seeker had moved into his corner again, in the shadows of the cell. His optics suddenly lit as he heard the Autobots' leader approach.

"I... heard about your accident," Optimus said hesitantly.

"It was no accident. I didn't fall and crack my head open." Starscream rose but did not advance. "I don't want to be in this cell any more."

"You never wanted to be here," Optimus countered. Starscream frowned.

"However, if it means you'll let me out of the cell, I'll..." Starscream stopped. He couldn't finish.

"If you can't even say it, how can I be sure you won't back stab me?" Optimus pressed. Starscream's optics narrowed.

"It would hurt the girl."

"Why would you care about a human?"

"Do you understand that she treated me without a bias? She didn't treat me with sedatives and restraints. I appreciate that she respects me and exercises caution. She doesn't want me to be combative, and doesn't react to me while being on some power trip. I would not disrupt this mutual agreement we seem to have." Starscream glared at Optimus. "That's something even you failed at, mighty Optimus Prime."

"So you'll behave simply because Millie wants you to?" Optimus wasn't sure he understood right. Starscream shook his head.

"I'm complying because I want to get out of this cell, and I know that, should there be a problem, _someone_ in this base will address it without a bias." He waited. Optimus unlocked the cell door and opened it. Starscream slowly started for to door, grabbing the clock on his way out. Optimus blocked his way.

"But let me warn you, Starscream. If we have one issue of you attacking because you don't like the way one sips his energon, you'll end up right back here. I'm trusting you. Do you understand?" His tone was not unkind, but it was firm. Starscream was still unsure of what to say, or how to react. "A simple yes would suffice," Optimus prompted.

"...Yes. But on that same note, if any of your men attack me unprovoked, especially with my weaponry still offline, I can not promise you anything." Optimus nodded.

"Very well. Let me escort you to your quarters. I'll need you to stay there until I can let the Autobots know of the new circumstances. I'll send Millie, if you'd like," Optimus offered. Starscream hesitated. What would he say to her? What would be the point? It's not like they could join sparks for cheap thrills.

"I'll seek her out when I have your permission to leave my new cell," Starscream sneered.

"Please, drop your defense already. Let me talk to the others, it shouldn't take me two breems, alright?" Optimus asked, sighing. Starscream looked at him indignantly.

"Fine. Just let me know when you're finished." Starscream entered his quarters, shutting the door behind him. Before settling onto the bed, he carefully hung the clock over the foot of the it, so he'd be able to look at it as he laid there.


	8. Public Service Announcement

Problems with love. Less reviews this last out than I expected, is my story slipping? Hi blood shifter. Lyrics once again manipulated a bit.

* * *

_§ All this time I should have known  
One of these days you'd follow me home  
Mess up my room and proceed to tempt me  
Stop, drop and roll you're on fire §_

It took a fair amount of convincing, but Optimus was finally able to get the Autobots to have an open mind regarding Starscream. Bumblebee was quick to erase the confrontation he'd had with the Decepticon, mostly because of how Millie saw him. Ironhide, on the other end f the spectrum, was more than a little disinterested in accepting him. Once the meeting adjourned, Optimus made his way to Starscream's quarters, Millie in tow. Optimus knocked gently.

"Starscream? It's ok to come out. The Autobots assured me they're ok with this, as long as you behave," Optimus called. Starscream opened the door, scowling. His optics fell to Millie, who was looking up at him with a bit of a smile on her face.

"I'm glad to have permission to wander my temporary living quarters," Starscream grumbled, slipping past Optimus. Optimus watched him, knowing that he was only curious to explore the base as a home as opposed to a target he was supposed to destroy. Millie did not follow him.

"Why aren't you going with him?" Optimus asked her. She looked up at the giant mecha.

"Well. I figured I'd give him some space. He's made it painfully clear that he wants company only when he calls for it. So, I'm gonna pal around with you until he wants me... if he wants me," she answered, slowly lowering her eyes. "What are you up to anyway?"

"Decepticon activity has increased drastically in the last 48 Earth hours, and I'm worried they're going to launch an attack in an attempt to retrieve Starscream. As abused as he was, they're very aware that he's invaluable on the battle field. But, he was abused, and I'm not going to let them keep doing that. No 'bot should be this resistant to others," Optimus replied, giving off a glow of wisdom. Millie admired him greatly. The awe she felt at that moment was demolished as Bumblebee raced up to her and snatched her up, clutching her tightly.

"Millie! I'm sorry, I broke the paddle ball you gave me!" he said quickly. She had given him a paddle ball shortly after they met as a gesture of friendship, and while he had to hold it between his thumb and finger, it had amused him very much.

"Broke it how?" she asked, hoping it was something minor she could fix. He looked at her like he was going to cry.

"The stretchy string part broke," he said. Millie sighed.

"Is that all? That can be fixed. Hey, sorry Optimus, I need to fix his toy," Millie said with a smile. Optimus nodded, happy to see her interacting with other 'bots and taking a break from work, which, while he appreciated her help, seemed to be all she did anymore. He could hear her and Bumblebee laughing as the rushed down the corridor.

§º§

With Bumblebee's paddle ball fixed, Millie went off in search of Starscream. She found him in an otherwise empty lounge type room, settled into a sofa with an energon cube in his hand. It was half full, and he had spaced out with his hand around it, his legs pulled up to his chest as he usually sat. He heard her enter the room and looked at her, trying to decide between yelling at her to leave or quietly accepting her presence.

"How's it going?" Millie asked. Starscream didn't answer, just looked away from her. "Nervous?" He scoffed.

"Why would I be nervous? They leave me alone, which is the most I could hope for," he answered, sounding irritated. Millie leaned against the doorway.

"You wanted to leave. Why haven't you left yet?" she asked him. His optics narrowed.

"I still seem to have the issue of my weaponry being offline. I don't have access to the correct tools to repair them myself, or else, trust me, I would," he grumbled.

"I didn't ask you about your weapons, I asked why you haven't left." Her stare was hard. She'd been right, he really didn't have anywhere to go. This rattled Starscream more than he was willing to express. Ratchet walked up behind her right as Starscream burst very suddenly and unexpectedly into a heavy fit of sobs.

§º§

"Don't touch me! The girl is doing a satisfactory job, I don't need you to do anything!" Starscream yelled at Ratchet. Millie was working on restoring his weaponry, something Optimus had approved of, deciding he was no threat simply because he was too introspective and absorbed in his own issues to worry much about those around him.

"I was just trying to speed the process," Ratchet said gently, his hands in the air.

"There's nothing wrong with the pace she's going at," Starscream snapped, glaring daggers at the Autobot. Ratchet took a few steps back, but stayed to oversee Millie's work. She was very near finishing, and so long as Ratchet didn't try to get close to him, Starscream was being unusually patient. The truth was that her touch was gentle, something he was not used to, but was enjoying greatly. Ratchet took another step forward, just to see how much work was left on Starscream's shoulder-mounted blaster. He jerked forward at Ratchet, hissing and cursing at him in Cybertronian. Ratchet leaned back, looking stunned. Millie was startled and stepped back. Starscream pulled back as well, looking at her apologetically, but he didn't verbally apologise. She stepped forward timidly and finished reconnecting feed lines in the blaster. Millie closed the panel and stepped back to Ratchet's side.

"Good as new. Just don't test them out on us, thanks," Millie said, suddenly afraid of Starscream now that his weaponry was functioning. He stood, hesitating, then mumbled something regarding his quarters and disappeared down the corridor. Millie looked up at Ratchet. "Not very grateful is he?"

"He thinks that we owe him, I mean, we did keep him locked up for a long time..." Ratchet shrugged. "I'd say back off until he comes around a bit more." Millie giggled.

"I'm surprised you're so sure he'll do that," she told him, following him to a more populated lounge than the one she'd found Starscream in. Bumblebee was gleefully playing with his paddle ball, but dropped it to swoop Millie up again. She squealed and clutched at him, afraid he'd accidentally drop her.

"How'd it go? Was he impatient and snappy?" Bumblebee pried. Millie shook her head.

"He was very patient, for the most part. He got upset if Ratchet got too close. And he snapped at him in Cybertronian which was scary, but still pretty awesome," she reported. Bumblebee smiled.

"You only think that because you can't speak it," he said. Millie laughed, nodding her agreement. The relaxed attitude in the room was disrupted by Optimus' worried voice over the loud speakers.

"Autobots, please stay alert to any unusual going-ons. Decepticons have tripled their normal activity and with only five days between now and their last battle, I'm worried about our chances. Do nothing that would draw attention to the base or yourselves. Get plenty of recharging rest, and be prepared for sudden combat. I hope I've made myself clear." Bumblebee sighed, standing, ready to go to his quarters. It was late, and while he was charged to go easily for several more hours, he decided to heed Optimus' warning and get as much rest as he could. Millie squirmed in his hand.

"Let me go check on Starscream, I'll join you in your quarters in a bit, ok?" Bumblebee set her down then stretched, unconcerned about Starscream. Millie jogged down the corridors to Starscream's door and knocked hard, hoping he'd hear her. He yanked the door open, looking ready to kill. He saw her and his expression softened. No words were exchanged, but he stepped aside and she walked in, Starscream shutting the door behind her. He sat on his bed.

"What do you want?" he asked her, sounding tired. His head was in his hands, he looked as though he wanted little more than to recharge in peace.

"Wanted to check on you-"

"I'm not a sparkling, I don't constantly need to be checked in on," Starscream snarled, resenting the care he'd been enjoying earlier.

"I wanted to tell you goodnight as well," Millie finished. Starscream looked at her, studying her closely. Millie sat on the floor, not caring a whole lot about being under his scrutiny. "You were pretty upset earlier. I'm just putting forth some effort to make you more comfortable," she said finally. Starscream looked at the clock.

"You organics need much more rest than we do. Shouldn't you be resting?" he asked, wanting to shoo her out of his quarters.

"Do you want to be in here alone?" Millie asked him. He looked at her sharply and growled in frustration.

"I don't need company, I can manage perfectly without it," he said. Millie stood to leave, half hoping to hear Starscream beg her to stay.

"It amazes me how readily you submit to me. I say once that I don't need you, and you're ready to leave? Why aren't you more determined?" Starscream grilled. She shrugged.

"I'm trying to keep you happy. If you don't want me, ok, I'll go. I'm not going to beg you to let me stay, just like you aren't going to beg me to stay," she answered confidently. He stared at her. "I'm gonna get my sleeping stuff, the mock mattress and all that, and I'll be back in a few." Starscream turned away from her.

"If you intend on sleeping here, just sleep. Don't talk to me or keep me from recharging," he grumbled. Millie smirked.

"No problem."

As they settled down to sleep, Bumblebee being understanding about Millie's desire to help, Starscream was yelling at himself in his head, cursing himself for letting a human share his private quarters. It was the best company he could get from this bunch, and her lack of aggression made the place seem that much more bearable. He laid on his back, his audio sensors picking up her breathing. Starscream cursed in Cybertronian and turned his back to her to recharge.


	9. Fearless

Teh battle. It comes.

* * *

_§ The best time I've ever had  
Waiting around for something bad  
Fearless, fearless  
And I know that's why you love me §_

Starscream's room was unbearably quiet when he woke up. He swung his legs over, so he sat on his bed. Millie's things were gone. He shoved himself to his feet and left his quarters, timidly, looking up and down the corridor before making his way to the main congregation area of the base. The sound of quiet talking and soft laughter reached him. Part of him ached at what he heard, wishing he could be accepted, if not with them than with someone, anywhere. The room grew silent as he walked in, all optics watched as he crossed the room and settled into a chair in the corner. Starscream's optics remained glued to the floor. Slowly, the Autobots began talking and laughing again, the brooding seeker staying in his corner to watch.

"..Well, I wouldn't stop someone dying, because the universe would collapse." Starscream's audio receptors were picking up Millie's voice. Sure enough, she walked in with Ratchet and Jazz flanking her, her hands black with grease. Jazz and Ratchet took seats, and Millie cautiously approached Starscream, who looked at her with a hint of disdain.

"You took a pretty big step, Starscream," she said, putting her hands on the pockets of her work overalls. He frowned.

"It's my only real alternative to staying in my quarters, isn't it? I think we already discussed my option of leaving," he growled. Millie sighed.

"At least you're trying. I'm going to wash up, talk to Optimus... I'll be back," she said, and she started to leave. Grunting, Starscream rose and followed her. She stopped and looked at him.

"I don't want to stay in a room full of Autobots," he said, tensing a little. Millie smirked.

"So you're going to follow a human instead?" she teased. His optics narrowed at her.

"You test my patience, girl," he said, though he was doubting if he'd ever actually hurt her. Her smile faded and she continued on her way to one of three washing stations set up around the base. There she stood scrubbing the grime from her hands, water running black beneath them. "Why do you need to see Optimus?" Starscream asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. Millie dried her hands on her pants.

"I like getting security updates, see what's going on, see if I should start setting up rooms so I can better help the wounded, you know, if he thinks there's going to be a battle in the near future," she answered, sounding mildly distracted. "I just like to stay informed, that's all." She walked easily into the room where Optimus stood with Ironhide, both watching the monitors while chatting pleasantly. Ironhide's voice trailed off upon seeing Starscream. Optimus turned to look, seeing Millie after noticing Starscream.

"Is something wrong?" Optimus asked, crouching to Millie, to better talk with her. Starscream stood at the doorway, lacking the confidence to enter.

"No. You know me, I just like to stay informed," she answered. Then she lowered her voice a little. "He was in the wreck room, but he followed me, he said he didn't want to be with all of them. I think it was a step in the right direction, though." Optimus nodded.

"It certainly was." He stood up. "Decepticon activity is very, very high. They're cleaning their larger weapons, and I expect a full scale attack either very late tonight or early tomorrow. Grapple, Hoist, and Brawn are getting out larger weaponry ready. I hope we won't need it, but just in case we do, I want to be ready." Ironhide frowned.

"If we'd just send Starscream back, we probably wouldn't need this," he grumbled. Starscream glared, but didn't move.

"Are you afraid you won't be able to defend yourself? Afraid you'll get defeated?" he retorted.

"Cut it out you two," Optimus warned.

"Not at all, but we would avoid wasting our energy reserves on the Decepticons if we could-" Starscream cut Ironhide off, rushing him and holding a blaster to his chest, over his spark. His face was inches from Ironhide's and he hissed angrily at the Autobot in Cybertronian, threatening to kill him. Optimus pulled Starscream from Ironhide, who he then sent out of the room. The look Optimus gave Starscream caused the seeker to freeze, and his optics flashed around frantically for Millie, hoping that if she were present, Optimus wouldn't yell or punish him. Instead, Optimus reached to put his hand on Starscream's shoulder. Starscream yelped and flinched, pulling away, afraid he was going to be hit.

"Starscream, I'm not going to hit you. I'm sorry about Ironhide, he shouldn't have gotten that way towards you. As for you, I know he upset you, but don't resort to using your weaponry. I agreed to re-enable it should you need to defend yourself in a physical altercation, not so you could throw your weight around, alright?" Optimus said almost gently to him. Starscream nodded, optics wide. He was still a little spooked, but with Optimus' tone and, as much as he was trying to ignore it, Millie's hand placed gently on his leg, the fear was subsiding. "Very well. Go on, both of you. I need to catch up with Ironhide and talk to him as well."

Starscream followed Millie from the room, content to go where she went, particularly considering his last Autobot encounter had left him shaken. They ended up in a wreck room with Bumblebee, Wheeljack, and Cliffjumper, who were indifferent to the arrival of the Decepticon.

"Why do you speak your language when you get mad?" she asked suddenly. Starscream looked at her for a moment before answering.

"It's far more comfortable to use Cybertronian that your Earth language. What I say to them is hardly your business anyway," he answered, his tone not unkind. She just stared back.

"I like the way your language sounds," Millie told him.

"I know. Your under developed human vocal processors can't form the correct syllable sounds to speak the language," he said, mildly interested in talking about something he knew enough on to have valid statements. "Even if you tried to speak it, I doubt it would be understandable." She didn't answer him. The almost companionable silence between them was interrupted by the security alarm. Starscream cursed in Cybertronian.

"All Autobots be on alert. Decepticons have mobilised. They are close to fourteen earth hours away. All able bodied Autobots, please recharge and be prepared for battle upon their arrival." Starscream stood suddenly and rushed to the room he had been in just a couple hours ago.

"Optimus, I want to fight!" he said quickly. Optimus frowned.

"I'd prefer it if you just stayed here," he answered.

"I know their weaknesses! I can launch aerial attacks! You need me on the battlefield, Prime, and you know it!" Starscream argued fiercely. Optimus sighed. He was trying to protect Starscream, but the points the seeker brought up were indeed valid.

"Very well, Starscream. Please recharge and be ready for battle tomorrow." Optimus walked past him, hoping he wouldn't be later regretting letting Starscream fight. The seeker returned to the room where he had left Millie, and part of him felt happy to see she was still there. She looked up at him.

"I expected you to come back," she said simply. He frowned at her.

"I will be engaging in battle, should there actually be one. Prime needs me, and I would never back down from a battle where I'm needed and can take out Megatron," Starscream told her, feeling very proud. He sensed Millie's stress levels skyrocketing.

"Alright," she said, trying to keep herself from sounding too concerned. "You are the mighty Starscream, I trust you can handle yourself." She turned and left, retreating to Bumblebee's quarters. Starscream did not follow her. He instead slowly retreated to his own quarters, unhappy with Millie's reactions, lying on his side with his back to the door. He hadn't been lying there long when he heard a knock. He didn't answer it.

"Well, if you won't open up, I'll talk to you from here. I know you can hear me." Millie's voice reached him despite the thick metal door between them. "I don't want you to go out there. But that's not a big deal because I know you won't listen to me, you don't care. Just be careful." She didn't say anything else, though Starscream expected her to. After several minutes he did rise and open the door, but she wasn't there. He sighed, shut the door again, went back to trying to rest up.

§º§

_Megatron fired at Starscream, several times in succession. Starscream was sobbing, trying to drag his mangled body away, trying to get somewhere safe. Megatron was yelling at him, cursing at him, completely belittling him in front of several other Decepticons. He finally stopped when Starscream was very close the the door, then kicked him out into the corridor. The door shut, missing his hand by not but an inch. Starscream just stayed on the ground, curled into a fetal position, shaking. After what seemed like hours, he managed to shove himself to his feet, and he limped into his quarters. He collapsed exhausted onto the ground again, feeling safe. But safety was not watching after him._

"_You crawled away to lick your wounds. You didn't even try to defend yourself, you worthless excuse for a warrior," Megatron snarled at him. "We could have wiped out that entire city and drained it dry, but once again you managed to ruin a perfectly good plan!" Megatron yanked Starscream up only to throw him against the opposite wall, where he slid to the floor._

"_I'm sorry, please..." Starscream whimpered, trying weakly to shield himself with his arms. Megatron kicked him once, and was pleased to hear the seeker cry out._

"_Next time, she won't be there to help you!"_

§º§

Starscream groaned as he woke up, frowning at the alarm system blaring. He ran his hands over his face, forcing the dream away, angry that even in his sleep he couldn't shed memories of Megatron's abuse. He looked at his clock, he'd been recharging for nearly twelve earth hours. He rose, slipped out of his quarters, and joined the group of warriors at the opening of the Autobots base. Bumblebee looked up at him.

"I'm surprised Optimus is letting you fight," he said. Starscream scoffed.

"Prime knows I'm a great warrior, and I know where to hit the Decepticons to hurt their army. You need me and he knows it," Starscream spat back. Bumblebee shrugged.

"Well, thank you then," he said simply. Optimus was barking orders, something that Starscream never listened to anyway. It was the "Roll Out" that got his attention. As he followed the other bots out of the base, he gave a look over his shoulder. Millie stood there, looking at him, worry present in her eyes. Starscream hesitated, then turned away and transformed, flying out of the base.


	10. Drowning The Tyrant

Is he dead? Is he alive? Not cheerful enough to make a real author's note.

* * *

_§ Just noises in my head  
If I could I'd drown them right out  
I'd bury all of these noises  
From your tyrant mouth §_

The Autobots and the Decepticons stood lined up, facing each other. Several on both side were nervous, and fewer were visibly shaking. These shaking bots were limited to Bumblebee, the borderline Thundercrcker, and, of course, Starscream, who was trying to hide in the back. Optimus and Megatron approached each other, to discuss the terms and conditions.

"Don't think I haven't noticed Starscream standing the in back of your rank, shaking like a coward. Do you really plan on using my own warrior against me?" Megatron sneered, a smug look having settled on his face.

"He isn't yours any more, Megatron. I'm not going to let you keep abusing him," Optimus answered, trying to keep his anger for when the battle actually broke out. Megatron laughed.

"Why do you even care, Prime? You think he's turned a new leaf? He's a conniving sparkless traitor, and he'll always be a disappointment!" Megatron took aim at Starscream, who froze. Optimus shoved Megatron to the ground. Both leaders called their men to attack, and a full battle broke out. Starscream took to the skies, firing at the Decepticons who were backing up Megatron, to give the other Autobots a fair chance to take out the hateful leader. Soundwave spotted him and sent Laserbeak up to take him out. Starscream fought valiantly and destroyed Laserbeak, but not without sustaining rather massive damage to one wing. He crashed to the earth, only a few feet behind Bumblebee, who turned to help him to his feet. Starscream accepted the help without a second thought and started shooting from the ground, more than a little irritated that aerial strikes were no longer part of his abilities. Starscream suddenly felt a blast from behind, striking him in the back and causing him to fly forward into the dirt.

"You were supposed to die! I'll make sure you do so this time!" Bonecrusher growled at Starscream. Starscream started shooting, first using his null ray then firing much more damaging shots until the larger Decepticon fell, defeated. Starscream scrambled away, hiding in a thick pocket of Autobots that were simultaneously firing on Soundwave. As the mighty spy unit started a retreat, both sides were ordered to hold fire.

"What are you doing?" Starscream yelled at Optimus.

"It's just a time out. Ratchet, Red Alert, and Millie will be coming around to repair damages, the other side has their own medic team to do repairs as well. It's only for a few minutes and only the most seriously damaged will be tended to," Optimus explained to the group. Starscream looked towards the entrance of the Autobots base and watched the three medics emerge, and made his way to Millie. She smiled broadly at him.

"Need any repairs? I'm only supposed to help the most damaged, but I'll make a case for you " she said, trying to hide her enthusiasm that he was still alive. Starscream sat on the ground in front of her.

"I can't fly. I'm no good if I can't fly," he said bitterly. Millie looked at his damaged wing. He transformed, thinking it'd speed the process. Millie rummaged through her tools and repaired him quickly and efficiently, stepping back so he could transform again, into his robot mode. He checked his wings out, and looked back at her.

"They're repaired to the best of your abilities. There's little time left, go help someone else," he said, sounding unusually kind.

"Just, be careful, please?" Millie repeated her earlier request. Starscream nodded.

"I'm a great warrior. You don't need to worry about me," he said proudly. Millie smiled at him and rushed off to aid another injured bot.

"Millie, Red Alert, Ratchet, get out of here! Autobots, prepare for battle!" Optimus yelled. Starscream took a deep breath. When Optimus and Megatron gave simultaneous orders to fire, Starscream leaped into the air and transformed, commencing another strike from the air, trying to keep Megatron unprotected. Skywarp and Thundercracker were flying towards him, and he panicked, flying over them and circling back towards Autobot ground, hoping they'd lose him.

"Hey, Starscream, we thought you were dead!" Thundercracker called to him. "Come on, let's turn these Autobots to slag!" Starscream grunted, irritated.

"Kill them yourself," he said sharply. "I'm only trying to save my own circuitry." He dove down, aiming himself, then transformed and hit the ground, turning at firing at a Decepticon. He didn't know who it was, just that, if it meant he'd get to Megatron, the mecha with the purple insignia was going down. He helped bring the beast down, recognising him as Dirge. After much darting and shooting, he was finally spotted by Megatron who then tried to make his way to Starscream.

"Starscream! You traitor! Don't think I haven't seen you shooting down my men!" Megatron roared at him. Starscream, spooked, tried to flee, but there was too much going on and nowhere for him to go. He looked towards Optimus who was busy battling it out with Soundwave's persistent minions (sans Laserbeak). Megatron smiled evilly. "Who's going to save you this time, Starscream?"

"If you kill me you realise you'll be killing your only real link to the Autobots? Don't you see, I could do inside work because they trust me, I-" Starscream cried out loudly in pain as Megatron blasted a ragged hole into his left wing. He started to grovel and beg, knowing it wouldn't do much good.

Bumblebee, who had heard Starscream's cry, started trying to get to where the sound had come from. He leaped over fallen bots, shooting at anything that shot at him or got in his path. He took a shot from behind and he lost his balance, falling, cursing at the time he had lost. He struggled back up, wobbled, but managed to get to Starscream. Starscream looked at Bumblebee with a very serious 'stay back' look, then turned to look behind him as he struggled to back step into some kind of safety. Megatron struck him across the face.

"You're nothing, Starscream. You ruin missions. You cause others to be damaged in the process. You're worthless," Megatron spat.

"I'm the fastest flyer you've got, my null ray, my cluster bombs-"

"Nothing I can't have the others modified to perform. I don't need you. You're slag to me, Starscream."

"You could let me go then, and it wouldn't matter. Please, Megatron..."

"As if you thought I was going to let this go with a warning," he growled.

"Please Megatron, consider my offer-"

"You'd find some way to ruin it, and get us all killed. I wouldn't trust you on a mission, ever, not after you've messed up so many simple orders!" Megatron kicked Starscream's legs out from under him. Starscream let out another strangled cry as he fell. He kept trying to back up, stopping only as he bumped the base of a cliff. He was whimpering, pleading. Megatron shot into his side. Starscream looked up at him, all his uncertainty turning into hate. He had snapped, and could only hope it wasn't too late. He started to shake, and raised his arm at Megatron.

"I'll kill you... I'll kill you..." he repeated, over and over, the words coming out in gasps. He was far more damaged than he had originally calculated. Megatron just aimed his gun at Starscream again. Bumblebee was running probabilities through his head as he watched the scene unfold, but didn't think he could take Megatron alone, regardless of his arm's cannon. "You wouldn't kill me. You sicken me," Megatron sneered at Starscream. "Whimpering pest. I will eliminate you like I should have done a long time ago!"

As he fired at Starscream's chest, Bumblebee took the chance and tackled Megatron. He heard Starscream's voice, loud, pained, but couldn't look to see if he'd been hit. Bumblebee was greatly over matched and he knew it. He was very fortunate that there were several Autobots who responded to his distress signal, used in battle only when the one emitting the signal had made a significant breakthrough in the battle and needed backup, and as they saw the situation and sent out their own signals, the mob on Megatron was growing at such a rate he couldn't fight them off. His army had been too wiped out for the remaining survivors to be of any help defending him. He was shot apart, into pieces, limbs being blasted off his body. Too many Autobots had wanted to do this for millions of years, for their own personal vendettas. It was Optimus Prime who, showing up at just the right time, was given the honours of terminating his foe.

"I'm sorry it came to this, Megatron. I wish it could have ended differently," Optimus said quietly.

"You're too weak..." Megatron's still functioning head wheezed. Optimus shut his optics as he permanently extinguished Megatron's spark. The few remaining Decepticons fled, and no Autobot cared enough to follow. As many of them went back for fallen comrades, Bumblebee looked frantically for Starscream.

"Optimus, he was right here, he couldn't have taken off," Bumblebee said, panicking. "His wing was too badly damaged." He needed to find Starscream, if only for Millie's well being. Optimus looked around, surveying the area.

"We'll have to look for him later, right now there are Autobots who need our immediate attention. How bad was he damaged?" Optimus asked. Bumblebee shook his head.

"I know for certain his wing was damaged but I can't confirm anything else," he answered honestly. Optimus put his hand on Bumblebee's shoulder.

"We will find him, I promise." Bumblebee followed his leader, hoping there was nothing but truth in his words.


	11. Something To Believe

Yes, I wrote this at 2 - 3 AM. No, I can't sleep. Yes, I am over-working myself. Yes, Starscream is OOC. But any Starscream warming up, affectionately, to a human is OOC amiryte?

* * *

_§ So give me something to believe  
Cause I am living just to breathe  
And I need something more to keep on breathing for  
So give me something to believe §_

Once the last of the offline and inured Autobots had filtered into the base, Millie lost it. She'd been looking for Starscream, and while it was possible she'd missed him, she didn't think it was very likely. She worked on as many bots as she could, hoping he'd reappear as she worked, but he never did. She closed Jazz's chest, offering him a smile, before hurrying to Optimus, who was stationed in the main monitor room.

"Optimus, I haven't seen Starscream. Did he go back with the Decepticons?" she asked slowly, biting her lip. Optimus took a breath, and the way he turned to her, the way he wasn't looking at her, made her feel sick.

"We... aren't sure where he is. He's injured, though the severity is questionable-"

"Let me go look for him, please, if he's hurt we need to find him!" Millie said, her emotions coming to a point. Optimus hesitated.

"We have so many bots here that need your help..." His voice trailed off. "How is Bumblebee? Has he been repaired?"

"Yes, he wasn't as bad off as I expected, I heard what he did." Millie looked at her shoes. "It'd be in vain, if we didn't look for Starscream, don't you think?" she offered. Optimus rose from his crouching position.

"You have a valid point. How's Wheeljack?"

"Wheeljack is a little stiff, but otherwise he's alright. A few of his gears were bent but his circuitry and the oil and lubrication lines are repaired to 98.37 percent," Millie answered, slowly figuring what Optimus was getting at.

"Very well. Take Bumblebee, and you may look for him. I'll have Wheeljack take your place while you search. If you see any Decepticons before you can find him, come back right away and let me know. Is that fair?" he asked her. She nodded and hugged his leg.

"Very fair. What about you, though?" she probed, feeling guilty.

"I need to stay here and make sure the base is secure while my fellow Autobots are healed. You've already spent several hours helping the worst cases, you don't need to punish yourself," Optimus told Millie, knowing she'd do exactly that if she weren't told otherwise. She let out another string of gracious thank yous before rushing ahead of him to find Bumblebee as he went to talk to Wheeljack.

"Bumblebee! Optimus said we could go look for Starscream. You saw him last, come on, let's get to looking!" Millie called to the yellow Autobot. Bumblebee looked at her curiously.

"What about helping Ratchet?" he asked.

"Optimus is having Wheeljack do that. He said your intervention would be all for nothing if we didn't find Starscream. Let's go, before it's too late!" she said urgently. Bumblebee transformed and was creeping forward before she even settled into the driver's seat. Once Millie was sitting and strapped in, Bumblebee tore off in the direction of the cliff where he'd last seen Starscream. Millie looked out the windshield, surveying the surroundings, not wanting to miss Starscream should they come across him. Bumblebee stopped and opened his door, letting Millie out. They started searching the area, Millie going around the other side of the cliff as Bumblebee searched the side he'd last seen Starscream. It was Millie who found him. She called out to Starscream right as she was fired upon from unseen Decepticons Runabout and Runamuck. Bumblebee had heard her, had heard the blasts, and started to rush to where her voice had come from. She had already gotten to Starscream and was taking in the full extent of his injuries. Aside from his damaged wing and side, a wet, jagged hole had been blasted into his lower torso. Millie was ignoring the Decepticon blasts, her nursing instinct and emotions taking over. When she reached Starscream's face, as he layed on his uninjured side, she put a hand on his cheek and another on his opposite jaw. His optics flickered, glowing red again.

His optics focused on Millie. Just like every other time he'd been out and slowly, groggily, came to. She was always standing over him, always touching him, always being fair while not taking any of his back sass. Always trying to help. Always trying to comfort. His spark ached at the idea that someone cared about him. She'd come looking for him, and he couldn't convince himself that she was forced to do so. He blinked at her, half expecting her to disappear. But she didn't, and Starscream was..._happy_ to see her.

"You're going to get killed," Starscream wheezed at her. Millie started to cry.

"So are you, if we don't get you back to the base," she answered. Starscream looked past her at Bumblebee, who bent low over Starscream, trying to shield the seeker's wounds from falling bits of earth as he called for back up, trying to get someone strong enough to carry Starscream back to the base.

"Why do you care?" Starscream pressed, looking back at Millie, still unable to comprehend the girl's feelings. Millie just managed a shrug.

"I care for those who need it," she answered honestly. "And your situation really ate at me." Starscream blinked heavily.

"No one cares about me. Megatron reminded me of this every day, even right up until-" He was struck by one of the shots, and he whimpered loudly, flinching. With a pained groan, he raised a hand to cover Millie, which surprised her greatly. Bumblebee spoke before she could verbally note this.

"Forget it. Megatron's dead," Bumblebee said, still trying to shield Starscream. The seeker tried to look at Bumblebee, but found himself too weak to do so.

"Is he? What happened?" Starscream forced out. He felt dizzied at the news, though relieved that Megatron wouldn't be able to do anything to him anymore.

"Bumblebee saved you, he attacked Megatron when Megatron attacked you... everyone else came, some limbs were ripped off, and Optimus took the killing shot," Millie explained, wiping her face with one hand. Bumblebee was shrieking for backup again as Optimus and Ironhide pulled up, the cargo container behind Optimus opening to transport Starscream. The Decepticon fire ceased, as though Optimus had scared them off. Ironhide moved towards Starscream, to put him in the cargo container, but this scared the injured bot.

"Don't get near me, you'll just hurt me again!" He writhed, trying to drag himself away from Ironhide, who'd stopped in his tracks. Starscream looked at Millie who had taken several steps back when he started struggling. "I don't want to die, I don't want to die..."

"You're going to have to trust him, then. He's the only one who can move you," Millie told him firmly. The panic in his optics had caused fresh tears, but she wasn't going to get soft with him. It would only waste time they didn't have. "Just let him get you into Optimus' cargo transporter, and he'll leave you alone." Starscream rolled his optics to Ironhide who advanced again.

"I won't hurt you. I'm just trying to help. Don't be so difficult..." Ironhide mumbled as he slipped his hands under Starscream's body. He whimpered several times as Ironhide moved him, the injuries great enough that even minor movement caused him tremendous pain. Bumblebee picked up Millie, who winced every time Starscream made a noise. Ironhide set him down and he immediately tried to squirm away from him.

"Don't touch me again," he wheezed, going limp, exhausted.

"Millie, ride with Starscream. Bumblebee, Ironhide, transform and follow me back to the base," Optimus ordered. Bumblebee set Millie down and transformed, as did Ironhide. The cargo container closed up again, and the only light came from Starscream's optics. He looked at Millie, who was standing near his face again as he lay on his back.

"I don't want to die..." he whispered again as he started to shake. Millie touched his face.

"You won't. We can fix you. You're going to have to let Ratchet touch you, though, your injuries are too extensive for me to repair on my own," she told him. He grimaced, still unsure of the Autobots.

"Every time I woke up, I saw you. When I first regained consciousness after being taken to the Autobots base... After the medic repaired me... And now..." Starscream's voice trailed off. He felt very delirious from sheer exhaustion. There was a bump in the ride, and he let out a pained noise. Millie lowered her head.

"And I'll be there when you wake up from this, too," she soothed, taking advantage of Starscream's temporary emotional state. Optimus stopped, the back opened again. Millie scurried out, and Starscream lost sight of her. He was surrounded by Autobots, and he suddenly felt overwhelmed, he felt afraid again. He began to squirm, and Wheeljack quickly administered a dose of sedatives, not wanting Starscream to further injure himself. Millie started to follow, but Ratchet argued this.

"Stay out here and wait. I know you want to help, but let us do this. There are still a few Autobots who need repairs, help them, alright?" he said quickly but gently to her. She stood, numb, watching them carry Starscream away. His face, his optics dimming though focused on her, was the last she saw before the door to the med bay closed.

§º§

"_Ratchet, his spark!"_

"_It's fading, we're losing him! I need a crash cart!"_

"_Primus, we're almost done, too!"_

"_Where's that crash cart?! He's getting worse!"_

"_Slag! Don't die, you stubborn Decepticreep..."_

"_Clear! ...Come on, CLEAR!"_

"_Ratchet..."_

"_No! Clear!"_

"_Come on, Ratchet, just call it..."_


	12. Tragedy Bound

Short and took me forever to write. Guh. Anywho, references for questionable things at the bottom. Whoo.

* * *

_§ Tragedy bound, looking for clues  
I'm starting to think he likes the abuse  
I'm starting to feel like he doesn't feel  
Is there anybody in there? §_

"Ok.. Ok, he's stable." Wheeljack looked up at Ratchet, who then threw down the two electrical rods. When both were touched to either sides of a bots spark, they functioned much like defibrillator paddles. He shoved the machine out of his way and went back to hooking up oil and lubrication lines and electrical circuits in Starscream's torso, sighing at how tedious the work was.

"Think his chances are any good? Should we even be trying this?" Red Alert asked, unable to conceal his doubt. Ratchet grunted.

"And if we are able to repair him, and he survives, you won't be saying anything about how we should have given up. There's a lot of debris in his wounds, I hope it doesn't clog any of the feeds..."

"I didn't think you even liked him," Wheeljack admitted. Ratchet didn't so much as look at him.

"I didn't. But he and Millie sure seem to have taken a liking to each other, and if he's making her happy, I don't... It's my duty to heal. That's what I do," he said hastily. It was still hard to forget that Starscream was still a snotty, sarcastic Decepticon. Ratchet was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"How long will this take?" Red Alert asked, working on Starscream's wing. A steady drip of sedatives had been fed into one of his oil lines, but the bag containing the chemical was nearly empty. He stopped his work to change it out for a full bag.

"Solar cycles(1). I'm guessing 2 or 3," Ratchet answered. They'd already been at it for half a day, and Ratchet felt as though no progress had been made. He cursed quietly as he took a step back, closing his optics, taking a breather. "No one stops til we finish," he said finally. "If you have a problem with that, you take it up with Prime."

§º§

Optics fluttered open, then closed again at the bright light. Something touching his face. He tried to move, but his limbs felt heavy. Millie. There she was again, wiping his face. It was like the day they'd met. Everything. Right down to the soreness he felt. The only new feeling was the one of security that was nipping at him, a strong sense of comfort he got from Millie's touch. It had been her who found him, and that had saved his life. And, unlike anyone else he'd come in contact with, she was there. If he wanted her, she'd be at his side. She was helping even when she wasn't asked. Not that he'd ask for help anyway. Still, he couldn't stop these new feelings regarding her from creeping into his mind, his spark, and settling there. His optics opened again. Millie stepped back, tossing the sponge she'd held into the bucket at her feet.

"Was just cleaning you off... you were damaged, and they operated, it was messy," she said quickly. He just stared at her.

"What..." He was too weak to get the whole sentence out.

"What happened? Bumblebee attacked Megatron for attacking you. With the Decepticon forces wiped out, and all the Autobots having personal hatred for Megatron, they swarmed him and ripped his body apart. Optimus took out his spark. Apparently it was mildly anti-climactic as, well, he was in pieces and couldn't fight back. However, they all achieved their goal, and a fun time was had by all. Except maybe Megatron," Millie explained with a nod. Starscream's optics narrowed. "What? What's wrong? I thought you wanted him dead."

"I... should have... killed him," Starscream forced out. Millie sighed.

"Well, he's dead, which means you don't have to worry about him trying to hurt you anymore," she said, mildly irritated he wasn't seeing the brighter side of the situation. His expression softened, and she put her hand on his cheek again. When his only reaction was to look her with an almost thankful expression, Millie grinned at him. "Maybe your injuries were more extensive that we thought. You're letting me be affectionate?" He emitted a robotic groan, evidence of his current weakness, as he sat up. He rested his head in his hands.

"It is new to me... strange... to be cared about. I can't say it's entirely unpleasant. Our code was to always fight for ourselves. More than once I've felt an obligation to protect Skywarp and Thundercracker, slag, especially Thundercracker. He didn't see the point in needlessly killing humans, and of course he thought he could hide it(2). But the mercy, even in the slightest of states, made him weak and in need of protection, it meant he'd hesitate, and even the tiniest hesitation would mean his death. How was I supposed to do an air strike with just Skywarp and myself? Skywarp was an idiot." He stopped himself, he was talking too much. Starscream looked away from Millie. "Naturally we were told only the weak ones felt any compassion to others, hence the hatred for the Autobots."

"Are you seeing it differently now?" Millie asked. Starscream turned to look at her again. He didn't say anything, just simply put his hand around her, letting her lean her back into his palm and hold his thumb. "Fair enough. Let's get you out of the recovery room and back to your quarters so you can recharge, hmm?" Starscream stood, slowly, wobbling a little.

"This isn't me," he said weakly. Millie looked baffled.

"What isn't you?" she asked.

"I'm not weak. I'm not soft." He sounded less than sure of himself. Millie sighed quietly.

"Once you finish recovering, you'll be back to your old self. Don't worry," she assured him, walking with him to his quarters. Starscream settled on his bed. Millie told him to rest up and started to leave, but he stopped her.

"You don't have to go... Unless you've got somewhere to be," Starscream told her, worried she'd laugh, call him weak, degrade him in some way. She just smiled.

"I'll get my bedding," she told him, her tone warm and caring. She returned quickly, set up her makeshift bed. "Get some rest, Starscream. Barring any wild accident, I'll be here when you wake up." Starscream groaned, nearly inaudibly, as he turned to lay with his back to her. His feelings for Millie were confusing him. Despite this, he fell into a deep recharging state, taking comfort in Millie's presence.

§º§

"I'm almost done. If only we had a competent medic... Megatron would overlook that... At least I was able to learn most of it on my own..." Shockwave grumbled to himself as he hurried about the room. Tools were strewn about, and the pieces that once made up Megatron's body were set out on the table against the far wall. Soundwave looked at the pieces, then at the supplies.

"We'll need more tubing. I will retrieve the necessary materials," he said as he made for the door.

"And make sure you get the green tubing. The red tubing is rather unreliable," Shockwave called after him. Shockwave could hear another bot coming in, and he turned to see who it was. Runabout was walking in, looking less than pleased.

"Starscream got away. The Autobots came for him. We tried firing, but Optimus came-"

"You let that walking pile of scrap metal scare you off?" Shockwave fumed at the smaller bot. Runabout frowned.

"He had reinforcements. Two other bots were there, as well as a female human. She was helping the most. Starscream's gone soft on us," he finished. Shockwave spaced out for a moment, his mind reeling.

"Well, we need to destroy Starscream. He's a major threat now that he seems to have sided with the Autobots. But our first order of business is to revive Megatron. Frenzy was able to get his spark back online-" Shockwave boredly motioned to the spark, held in a special case "-and I'm working on his body. We should have him running again in... ten solar cycles, I hope." Shockwave sighed. "We'll worry about Starscream after that. I'll be sending you and Runamuck to do it, but since you both seem incapable of this, I'll be sending someone else with you. Now get out of here so I can work."

"But what about the other Decepticons?" he pressed.

"They're being worked on! Now go away!" Shockwave snapped.

Soundwave returned with an armful of tubing and hoses, as well as several cases of oil and lubricants. With help from the spy unit, who was far too devoted to Megatron to not help, Shockwave set about piecing his leader together.

* * *

(1, 2) t r a n s f o r m e r s . w i k i a . c o m Look up both units of time, amd Thundercracker.  
You'll have to copy/paste and take the spaces out... I'm also going to base Shockwave's character on the one seen in Shockwave's Burden, which can be seen on youtube.


	13. Hot Pursuit

Short chapter. I know, boo hiss. The boyfriend has my playing World of Warcraft._  
_

* * *

_§ You've got nowhere to run  
You've got nowhere to hide  
I think you won't escape this time §_

"Megatron! You're online again!" Shockwave said excitedly. Megatron groaned and took a feeble swing at Shockwave.

"You irritate me. What happened...? I don't... Where's Starscream? Was he destroyed?" Megatron grilled. Shockwave was startled though elated with his leader's revival.

"He was not destroyed, unfortunately. You were nearly destroyed yourself, but with Soundwave's help, I was able to restore you to your former self," Shockwave informed him. With a grunt, Megatron stood. He looked about the base, then made for the door.

"Come, Shockwave, let us see where that little traitor is. Tell me, if he was not destroyed, do you know what became of him?" Megatron asked, trying not to explode. He didn't want to waste the energy.

"Well, he was saved by a human and a few Autobots. Runabout and Runamuck were sent to destroy Starscream, and them too, as they appeared, but they couldn't so much as wound the human. They all got away," Shockwave admitted. Megatron glared at the monitor, seeing Starscream's tracker blinking, indicating he was still in the Autobots base. "What is your plan, mighty Megatron?"

"We need to take him out. He poses a security threat. Where are the other Decepticons? How many were lost?" Megatron demanded.

"Well, we did our best to repair them. We were able to repair Thundercracker, Skywarp, all of Soundwave's little pets, Barricade, Thrust... But you see, we don't really have a medic-"

"Then round up those who are functional and start making a plan! The objective is to bring him to me alive, and let me deal with him! Do I have to do everything for you?" Megatron snapped at Shockwave.

"No, Megatron, of course not! We can handle this! I'll get right on it!" Shockwave said eagerly, rushing to talk to his fellow Decepticons. He managed to get them all in one room, in a crude excuse for a meeting.

"We need to lure Starscream out of the base, away from the Autobots, so we can- Are any of you listening? Do you even care? These are direct orders from Megatron!" Shockwave fumed. He got a few glares and took this as his cue to continue. "Ok then. Skywarp, I want you to warp in and get the human. He'll go to rescue her, at which point we'll ambush him and bring him back here. And I guess we'll throw the human to the side. We won't really need her once we get Starscream. Do you all understand?" His plan was met with a grumbling of approvals. "I'll let Megatron know of the plan, and we'll get on this plan tomorrow. Be prepared!"

§º§

"Ok, so the point of paddle ball is to hit the ball with the paddle as many times as possible. And don't break the string," Bumblebee said, effortlessly paddling away with his toy. Starscream blinked, caught between intrigued and utterly baffled.

"Ridiculous. You find this amusing?" he asked, sounding mildly disgusted. Bumblebee stopped, looking at Millie. She shrugged.

"That's alright, Starscream. At least you're trying," she said. He crossed his arms.

"So far, nothing you've tried to explain has made any sense. I don't know why I'm bothering," he said moodily. Millie patted his arm.

"We'll try something else tomorrow. We can do whatever you'd like now," she offered. Starscream stood, feeling his stress levels rising.

"I'd like to be alone for now. I'm going to my quarters," he said, walking away from Millie and Bumblebee. Millie looked at Bumblebee, who gave her a 'shoo' motion with his hand. She hurried after Starscream, who merely looked at her with mild annoyance. "You seem to have a lot of trouble understanding me when I ask to be left alone."

"Well, I always feel bad when you're alone, that's all. Slow day, you're alone, that makes me want to be with you. Make you feel more accepted here," she offered. Some Autobots were still having a fair amount of trouble with Starscream's presence, though he his stay included little more than self enslavement. He was always working on things, taking jobs from two or even three Autobots and doing all the work himself. Why the Autobots were still wary of Starscream, Millie wasn't entirely sure, though she suspected Starscream's hot attitude played a role in it.

"Why are you always working?" Millie asked him as she entered his room with him. He sat on his bed, his back to the wall, his head on his knees which were pulled to his chest.

"It keeps me from thinking," he answered flatly. She tilted her head.

"He can't hurt you anymore." Starscream glared at her.

"That isn't what concerns me. The Decepticons didn't like me, and neither do the Autobots. I'm not sure why I bother." He turned his face from her.

"You need to chill out," Millie answered. "You're very defensive. I mean, you have reason to be but no one here is going to hurt you. You don't have to snap at everyone." He grunted. Millie sighed and stood up.

"I'm going to eat. Would you like anything? I can bring back a cube of energon if you want," she offered. He kept his face to the wall.

"Yes." He said nothing more, so Millie let herself out and wandered down the corridor. She had her own mini fridge in the energon storage room, and in it was mostly fruit, a loaf of bread, and a bag of lunch meat. She grabbed a mango for herself and after eating it, grabbed a cube of energon and brought it to Starscream. He had fallen into a state of light recharge, though not so light she disturbed him. Millie set the cube down and left, giving the grumpy seeker some time to himself.

§º§

"This plan is foolproof!" Shockwave mused aloud.

"It better be, or Megatron's going to have your head," Brawl grumbled.

"It will work! I can feel it in my circuits!" Shockwave snapped.

"And I was thinking you'd have been more useful on Cybertron," Thundercracker said smartly.

The small group of Decepticons fell into hushed whispers as they went over the plan a final time, mere yards from the Autobot base.


	14. Stingey With Words

Slightly longer. Again, citing my references. Skywarp's tech-specs gave him an intelligence rating of 4, so I think it's completely possible he'd mess this up. Thundercracker's tech specs say he is not completely convinced of the Decepticon cause and I will play with this more in the next chapter._  
_

* * *

_§Every word from your mouth  
Is knife in my ear  
Every thought in your head  
Is like poison to hear§_

Skywarp blinked at the coordinates he was given. He stood outside the Autobots base, hesitant to do anything. He shut his optics, tensing, then warped to where Starscream should be. He knew he'd made it when he heard Starscream's shrieky voice. He opened his optics again just in time to see Starscream's fist going for his face. Skywarp stumbled back at the impact, hitting the wall of Starscream's room.

"What are you doing here?! Get lost before I kill you!" Starscream yelled at him, kicking the darkly coloured seeker to the ground. He was thanking Primus that Millie had not stayed with him that night. "Who sent you?" Skywarp's body convulsed as the electricity flowing through him glitched, the impacts from hitting the wall and then the floor as hard as he had upsetting the way his body normally ran.

"Shockwave," Skywarp managed to force out. Starscream knew his fellow seeker wasn't too horribly smart and was likely to spill the whole story, so he kept prying. His confidence was through the roof, with his belief that Megatron was dead.

"What about him? He sent you, what does he want?!" Starscream raised his fist to hit Skywarp again, but stopped when he flinched. Skywarp shoved himself up, swaying slightly. He looked at Starscream, mildly dazed.

"I'm supposed to bring the human, and you're supposed to follow. I'd lead you to them, and Shockwave is supposed to kill you," he answered dumbly. Starscream's optics narrowed.

"So Shockwave took over. I wonder if he can keep it this time," he grumbled.

"Oh no, Megatron's still in command," Skywarp answered, shaking his head. "Shockwave and Soundwave repaired him, he's been online for about two solar cycles." Starscream tensed.

"So who exactly are you serving, Skywarp?" he asked slowly, his mind racing with possible plans. Skywarp shrugged.

"I do what they tell me." This made Starscream smile.

"Well, you're under _my_ command now, got it? I don't care what Megatron says, and I sure don't care about Shockwave. You're doing what I tell you to," he said strongly, giving Skywarp a look that said he was serious. Skywarp just nodded. Starscream ran his hands over his face. "I'll need to take you to Prime. Slag, another battle... Come on!" Skywarp followed Starscream out of the room, followed him down the corridor as they ran towards the Autobot leader who was having a mild amount of difficulty with the paddle ball. He gave it back to Millie as he saw the two seekers running towards him. He moved between them and Millie and Bumblebee, unsure of their intentions.

"Prime, drop your defense," Starscream said sharply, stopping in front of him.

"What is he doing here?" Optimus asked, still wary of the Decepticon.

"He was here to lure me to my death. Or he was going to attempt it. Irrespective of his original intentions, he has informed me that Megatron was repaired to full working order..." Starscream rattled off the situation cleanly, not missing a detail, and stood shaking as he waited for Optimus to answer him. Millie scurried over to him, and he looked down at her, hesitating before lifting her. Skywarp looked puzzled but said nothing as she situated herself on Starscream's hand.

"All Autobots, there are Decepticons in the area. There will be a battle. All able-bodied bots are required to report at the entrance of the base," Optimus said, speaking into the overcom microphone. He looked back at the seekers. "We won't kill them. Let them go back to Megatron, see if we can lure him out." He stopped, shaking his head. "We need to be sure that when we wipe out Megatron, we do it for good."

"High powered positron rifle," Skywarp said suddenly. All eyes went to him, and Starscream wondered if he was really as dumb as he came off. "Wipes out any Autobot, Decepticon, anything you want." He spoke as though surprised the others hadn't thought of this. Optimus nodded.

"Ours hasn't worked in a long time. I'll get Wheeljack and Perceptor working on it. Millie, you help them until we start getting in injured Autobots, at which point I'd like you to work with Ratchet. Skywarp, how many are waiting for you?" Optimus asked, sounding every bit the leader he was.

"Shockwave, Thundercracker, Soundwave, and Brawl," he answered. Starscream shook his head at Skywarp as he set Millie down, no longer questioning his potential intelligence. He leaned his face in close to Millie, who smiled at him.

"Just be careful," she told him. He smiled in return and stood up again, watching Bumblebee scoop her up in a dramatic style, watched them disappear down a corridor.

"... and we need to go now, before they come looking for Skywarp," Optimus was saying. He made for the doorway, and the two seekers followed him to the entrance of the Autobots base where most of the Autobots had already congregated. They stood at the rear of the group while Optimus made his way to the front. The Autobots grew silent.

"We have a new Decepticon on board. Skywarp will be joining us in our attacks. Unfortunately he brought me the worst possible news. Megatron is back."

§º§

"Where is he? Is he lost again? I should have sent him with someone else. I was the guardian of an entire planet and now I can't even capture Starscream. Megatron's going to be pissed," Shockwave grumbled.

"He's not incredibly intelligent. Give it a little longer, and I'll go in and get them myself," Brawl said, his gaze unwavering as he stared at the Autobots base. He made a choking noise as he saw Autobots and the two seekers exiting together.

"Autobots, fire!" Optimus yelled.

"Stand your ground, Decepticons!" Shockwave yelled. Thundercracker snorted and took to the skies when he saw his fellow seekers do so. He watched Shockwave firing and missing, repeatedly, and laughed quietly to himself.

"Menu functions," Shockwave said, bringing up his weapons menu. A 100 percent miss rate had not escaped him. "Select interface menu. Select inaccuracy report. Select auto-correct." Jazz launched an attack on the preoccupised Shockwave, but Shockwave managed to dodge the attack, then called for a retreat, caving quickly to the fact that they were more than outnumbered.

"Why did you even bother? You were more useful when you were on Cybertron," Soundwave said, following Shockwave and Brawl as they flew back to the Decepticon base. They landed, and Shockwave ran for Megatron.

"Megatron, we lost another one. Skywarp has joined forces with the Autobots. I think he's too stupid to be a real problem-"

"And you're too stupid to notice that Thundercracker is missing as well, I see," Megatron answered. "You were far more useful on Cybertron."

"Why does everyone say that? Anyway, Thundercracker was shot down, so I assume he was killed," Shockwave answered. Megatron. glared at him.

"Get out of my sight. Since your plan failed so miserably, I'll have to draw up a plan on my own."

§º§

"Where's Thundercracker?" Millie asked Starscream. She was sitting in his thigh, leaning back against his hip. They were outside, looking at the star splattered sky that stretched out over the canyon. Starscream had been unusually gentle with her since she'd rescued him following his first battle along side the Autobots.

"He's in a holding cell. He'll be harder to sway. Skywarp was easy because his intelligence is limited to understanding and fully obeying any orders he's given. Even that isn't fully operational, he tends to pull pranks on his partners," Starscream answered, going off a bit on a tangent.

"Why not reprogram him to be more intelligent?" Millie suggested.

"He wasn't always stupid. He was critically damaged in combat many centuries ago, and Megatron simply ordered him to be repaired enough to take commands. And that's exactly what happened. It's enough, so no one's bothered to do anything more. Generally speaking, he isn't stupid enough to cause any real problems," he answered flatly. Millie tilted her head back and looked up at him.

"Are you worried about Megatron coming back?" She felt Starscream tense.

"I'm fearless. I won't miss another chance to dispose of him. Once I get Thundercracker on our side, Megatron won't stand an iota of a chance."

"You like them, don't you? You consider them friends," Millie asked, though it wasn't really a question. Starscream's optics became unfocused. He was unsure of how to answer this, and was starting to feel defensive as his independent, self centered image was being ripped at.

"The closest things we could get to friends, being with the Decepticons. We were constantly working together, and working well together at that," he admitted finally. "I don't care to talk about it. And it's late, especially for you." He took her in his hand, being careful about not hurting her, and stood. Starscream carried Millie back to the base, setting her down again as they entered through the back.

"You have permission to sleep in my quarters tonight, if you want to," Starscream said, trying to sound as though he didn't care what she decided. Millie smiled.

"Why on earth would I turn that offer down?"


	15. A Beggar And A Chooser

The fiance left me, getting counseling and therapy. On anti depressants. Still in love with World of Warcraft. I know, boo hiss, I should be on the story :P The cancer is TC's doubt and disdain regarding the Decepticons.

* * *

_§This vicious child  
Nature never wanted us  
This vicious child  
A cancer burning black into its heart§_

Optics flicked. A pained mechanical groan was emitted. Thundercracker's senses were dulled, but slowly came back... then he felt the pain. Pain so intense he saw only a white flash as his optics came on. The groan turned to a cry, a yell, until he was screaming. His body was still somewhat mangled from the attack, and the sedative had worn off. He screamed and cried in shock and pain, writhed on the table he was restrained to. The tormented screams brought Millie into the room, a bag over her shoulder. She rummaged frantically with one hand, desperate to find the needle and the solution to ease his discomfort. The other hand she had on the seeker's hand, holding it, trying and failing to comfort him. She prepared the solution, and took a tube from his side to inject it into. The seeker's screams slowly quieted til he was merely whimpering like a lost puppy. His optics rolled to Millie.

"You dare touch me with your filthy hands?" he challenged, hoping he could bluff her into fear. She just stared.

"You feel better don't you?" she shot back. His optics rolled back to the ceiling. "We're trying to repair you. Your damage was extensive." He groaned a little.

"I'd rather die than let you Autobots touch me," he said arrogantly. Millie smirked.

"Good thing I'm not an Autobot then." She picked up work where she'd left off, guessing she had another 12 hours or so, with Ratchet's help, to restore the Decepticon. As she worked on what she could, Thundercracker couldn't help but feel for the human tinkering about with his wounds. He was slowly understanding Starscream's affections for the girl. Thundercracker himself had never really understood why they harmed so many humans, and to have one caring for him cemented his feelings.

"Thank you." It was very quiet, strained. Millie wasn't sure she heard him right.

"Say again?" He grunted.

"You heard me." She continued staring at him, yet he said nothing more, and she continued her work, trying to ignore the occasional pained whimper. Ratchet wondered in at some point, exactly when she was unsure of, and they lost track of time, until Thundercracker was fully restored. As Millie shut the panel on his side, she realised suddenly that she was incredibly tired. She backed away from the repaired seeker, sighing.

"I've finished. Be free. Or something," she said tiredly. He studied her as he laid there, strapped down as a precaution.

"You didn't have to do that," he told her, chewing on the situation. She just shrugged.

"I know." Millie and Ratchet then disappeared down a hallway, of to recharge themselves. With a heavy sigh, Thundercracker let himself fall into a deep recharging state, half hoping he wouldn't come out of it.

"Oh Thundercracker..." Thundercracker opened his optics slowly, focusing on a very smug looking Starscream, who had Millie at his side. "If you promise to behave, we'll let you out." Thundercracker grunted, uninterested in Starscream's games. "What was that? I didn't hear you." The smug smile was driving Thundercracker nuts.

"Oh stop, just let him up or I'll get the other set of keys and do it myself," Millie said, worried about Thundercracker's state of mind. Starscream frowned at her.

"Where's the enjoyment in that?" he grumbled, letting Thundercracker up. The two seekers studied each other, but the tenseness eased up relatively quickly, and Thundercracker them followed them down the corridor, to Optimus' presence. He was over seeing plans for an unusual offensive strike, but halted them, called for an intermission, as he was Thundercracker. The seeker looked at him warily.

"Hello, Thundercracker. Please, sit. I would like to have a word with you. Millie and Starscream, please, let us have some privacy." Thundercracker sat, but suddenly wanted Starscream to stay. He slunk out of the room with Millie, only to duck around the corner til the door closed to evesdrop. Millie covered her mouth as she giggled, then pressed her ear to the door.

"Thundercracker, as you're aware of, Starscream and Skywarp are currently our allies. I understand we are enemies, but I would like you to rethink your position and join them, join us, and help us defeat the Decepticons," Optimus said carefully. He tensed as he waited for Thundercracker to say something.

"Why? Where is my benefit?" An unsurprising answer. Optimus sighed.

"I've seen you. You try not to hurt the humans. We do the same. For starters, you will never have to worry about discarding human life as 'necessary casualties'. Further more, you will be treated better, and your friends-"

"They are not my friends! They are just other mechas I work with." Thundercracker growled defensively. Optimus waited for him, then began again.

"Irrespective, they will be here for you to work with again. Any other trade skills you possess, you will be allowed to practice," he finished. "You will not receive any harsh reprimands from anyone," While Starscream had bared the most of Megatron's abuse, Thundercracker had not escaped it completely. His optics narrowed.

"I will assist you for now. But if anything goes wrong, I will be the first to leave," he said, still skeptical of the offer. Optimus rose and held out his hand. Thundercracker rose as well, stared at Optimus' hand before slowly reaching out to shake.

"Thank you. You are dismissed, and you have free roaming privileges of our base." Thundercracker hurried out of the room, nearly running into Starscream.

"You were listening!" he half laughed at his fellow seeker. Starscream smirked.

"It was a wise move on your part to accept his offer. We may not like them, they may not like us, but they don't abuse us and expect us to respect them. And I'm sure you are tempted to help take out the walking scrap heap that calls himself the Decepticon leader." Thundercracker nodded, feeling very torn at the situation. He had committed himself to the Decepticons, yet here he was stacked with the Autobots. He followed Millie and Starscream into another room, where Skywarp sat, staring at a television screen.

"Hi Thundercracker," he said dumbly. Thundercracker stared at him for a moment before sitting on the bench next to him. He was tense and Millie, being the kind of person she was, went out to the energon storage room to fetch a cube for Thundercracker. This seemed to soothe his nerves, the girl giving him energon and no one arguing him having it. With nothing going on, Millie took the time to get Thundercracker acquainted with his new home. He was, like Starscream, defensive, but much quicker to back off. As the day fell into night, and Millie started growing tired, Thundercracker found himself with nowhere to sleep.

"Just share my room, it's big enough," Millie offered. Starscream conveyed his displeasure with the idea by shifting between the girl and Thundercracker, and making a face at his fellow seeker.

"Take my quarters, I'll stay with the girl," he said, making sure it sounded much more as a command than an offer. Irritated but unwilling to argue for now, Thundercracker did as he was told, slinking into his new room, watching very intently as Starscream scooped up Millie and made for her room. Skywarp had not yet left, but stood, watching with Thundercracker.

"Are you jealous that Starscream is getting her attention?" he pried. Thundercracker scoffed.

"Hardly. This place is strange. This is happening too fast for me. Are you even a little unsettled?" he asked, almost hotly. Skywarp shrugged.

"I leave them alone. They leave me alone. I get along ok," he answered, now shuffling off to his own room. Thundercracker watched him, then closed the door of his new living area. He curled up on the sleeping bench in the room, facing the wall, his arms over his face. Struggling wit the relief that he no longer had to deal with Megatron, though irritated with being with he lowly Autobots, he let himself fall into a fitful state of recharge.


	16. Above And Below

Yep, you get two chapters today! Yes, I did recycle a bit from an older story of mine. Shush.

* * *

_§I am hiding from some beast but the beast was always here  
Hiding without eye because the beast was just my fears  
That I am just nothing and that's just what I've become§_

"Everyone, please be ready to launch the initial attack in fifteen Earth minutes," Optimus' voice boomed over the loud speaker. Thundercracker stood near to Skywarp, watching Starscream and Millie play and bond before her beloved seeker went out to fight. She rushed him, he shoved her back with two fingers and she fell on her bottom. Then she was up again, rushing him, only to be pushed back once more. Starscream had a faint smile, amused with her resilience. Finally, he scooped Millie up and cradled her near his face, his optics half closing as she stroked his cheek. Starscream started and set her down when TC approached, and he stood.

"What do you want?" Starscream shot at him. He stared back defiantly.

"You should be getting ready, not playing with the girl," he said. He walked off, proud for ruining their moment. Starscream cursed at him in Cybertronian, then lifted Millie again.

"Not real friendly, is he? I've tried, shit, I don't know what his malfunction is," Millie half pouted, crossing her arms. Starscream looked almost apologetically at her.

"I don't even know. Give him more time, I guess." He held her close once more before setting her down, saying goodbye, letting her caress his face once more, before leaving, following the other bots out of the base.

Plans were rehashed, last minutes tweaks were made, and Starscream and his seekers, reunited once more, took to the skies. They rained shots down on the Decepticon base, drawing the bots out into a waiting trap. Starscream snipered, and Thundrcracker followed his lead, and they effectively took out several of their former comrades. Skywarp had dropped to the earth, teleporting around and shoving certain Decepticons further into the Autobot group, forcing the lambs to their slaughter. It was not one sided, though, and the Autobots were growing weary, starting to feel defeated. Optimus himself wondered if his plan would lead to their demise. When Megatron casually sauntered into battle, spirits were renewed. He was being heavily attacked, but he tanked it all, looking for Starscream. He saw him, then, and as the seeker flew in low for an attack, swatted him out of the sky. Starscream crashed heavily, transforming into him robot mode. Megatron charged at him.

"Bumblebee, Skywarp, Ironhide, get on Megatron, don't let him kill Starscream!" Optimus yelled. Bumblebee responded the fastest, sending out burst damage that at first pushed Megatron away from the suddenly terrified Starscream. Ironhide began a hand to hand combat, trying to stay between Megatron and Starscream, who was now scrambling to attack.

"I can fight him, I can kill him, let me..." Starscream forced out, now rushing the fight.

"Get lost, get out of his sight!" Ironhide yelled at him. Skywarp grabbed Starscream, to try to teleport away, but Starscream struggled away and tried to fight. Ironhide's defenses fell and Megatron charged once again, knocking Starscream down and pummeling him. The plucky Bumblebee tried to save him, but Skywarp teleported him and Ironhide away as the two tumbled down into a canyon.

"Where are they?!" Optimus shouted about the battle.

"They fell, I lost them, Skywarp took us-" Bumblebee tried, but Optimus took off, trying to seek them out.

§º§

"You weak, worthless mess of spare parts, why won't you die?" Megatron shouted. Starscream fought valiantly, desperate to win. He was sobbing already, with frustration and pain and the sheer will to kill the bot that had caused him so much suffering. He was slowly accepting he was no match, and began to try to get away. "You coward, trying to get away again, you won't, I'll end your miserable pathetic life!" Starscream shot Megatron in the face, blinding him, causing Megatron to release him. He struggled to fly, but Megatron grabbed his right leg, pulling, his grip tight, enough to damage the limb.

"Let go of me! Get off of me!" Starscream shot Megatron's hand right as Optimus tackled his foe. Starscream shot off, barely able to transform. He was trying to get back to the base, to hide, to escape. He cursed his cowardice.

§º§

Millie, watching from the entrance, saw Starscream coming. He suddenly turned away, dodging shots from the ground. Ratchet stood with her, a hand on her back. Suddenly, Starscream was hit, and started spiraling down. Millie watched, wide eyed, as he met the earth, mini explosions going off as the seeker crashed. Millie began to sob.

§º§

Tired and starting to lose his vision, Starscream misjudged a shot and was struck. Hard. He felt himself falling, then he hit the ground, yelping in pain as he slid on his left side for many yards. Once he'd stopped, several shots exploded around him. He was unable to move. He was sure he would meet his end. It stopped without warning, and Starscream began to struggle away.

Starscream began trying to run, trying to flee with his life. The armour on his right leg was cracked badly and the infrastructure was damaged, and being further ravaged every time he set his right foot down. It pained him to step down on it but he was desperate to get away, cursing as he fled. He felt weak. He felt like a coward. In a final attempt to escape, he leaped off the cliff into the canyon below, landing heavily on his damaged leg. It was several more strides before the leg buckled, the biomecha's leg frame breaking completely. Steel and iron groaned as it twisted and broke, ending any support the limb gave the bot. Starscream gave a small cry as he fell, his right knee hitting the ground as he reached out with his left foot to catch himself, both hands going out as well. He stayed in the position for several moments, listening for any chasing Decepticons. Nothing. He shoved himself up and tried to hobble forward, but it was useless. He fell again, his left leg curled beneath him and his right leg out in front of him. Starscream looked like a fallen doll, or a novice rider tossed from his horse. He looked at his leg, put his hands around where the major break was. He felt... wetness. An oil line had been cut, if not severed completely. The pain and stress overtook the seeker, and there, hidden behind trees and leaning against a cliff, he lost consciousness.

§º§

"Send out a recovery party. I want him. I want the pleasure of killing him," Megatron growled.

"As you wish, Megatron," Soundwave said. He worked his way through all the able Decepticons recruiting Blackout and Barricade to bring the seeker to Megatron. He instructed them to return him alive, as Megatron requested the pleasure of destroying the seeker. They set off in the cover of darkness, honing in on the incapacitated bot.


	17. Corsage of Promises

Woweeeeeee. So I slacked bad. I was playing lots of World of Warcraft. LOTS. But my brother tried to "fix up" my PC, and now WoW is broken. Plus I'm having love life issues. Anywho, the much anticipated next chapter. Yay n shit.  


* * *

§ Like a butterfly on a card  
I'm naked and I'm scarred §

Millie was working herself to exhaustion. She was trying to force Starscream out of her head. The recovery team had brought back many damaged 'Bots, but Starscream could not be found. Ratchet had gently told her not to keep her hopes up. Hearing the words had nearly killed her, she was still reeling from the impact. Trying to care for the others was keeping her busy, thus keeping her mind off of him. Mostly.

"So I get a little excited. I like to be in the battles. I like going out there and pulling my weight," Bumblebee said as Millie worked on wires and oil lines along his right side. "You think I'd be more careful, but I'm not used to fighting for myself... I'm used to everyone taking all the damage while I do all the damage." He looked at Milie, waiting for her to say something, to tell him he was dumb, anything. She just shrugged.

"Old habits are hard to break. You're a tough Autobot and I can fix anything. You'll be fine," she said sounding distracted. She watched Skywarp and Thundercracker hurry past the repair bay, and heard them taking off outside, Bumblebee shared her curious expression, then turned to her as she sighed. She reconnected the last wire, it sparked just a bit, and sent Bumblebee on his way. She dragged her bag of supplies and tools to the next 'Bot, working diligently, her hands still soft and her actions carried out in a tender way, not harsh the way her Autobot medics were. She always worked better when depressed, she worked harder, payed more attention, took her time. She toiled through the night until Ratchet finally sent her off to get some rest. She made her way through the cold halls of the fallen ship, towards Bumblebee's quarters until she remembered her bedding was in Starscream's room.

"Crap." Millie gave the wall a strong kick before turning back to the other room. She stopped at the door, staring, hesitant to go in. She was sure it would just make her cry again. With a small grunt of irritation, she opened the door, eased it just she could slip in. The room was dark. She didn't want to see it anyway. Millie fumbled around the floor until she found her bedding, then hurried out of the room, shuddering. Bumblebee was leaving his room as she got there.

"Oh, there you are. I was going to look for you, but... here you are. You ok?" he asked nervously, not wanting to upset her. Millie just slipped between his legs into the room, and he shut the door behind them.

"Tired." She rubbed her face unhappily. She looked at the door suddenly, the sound of someone entering the base getting her attention. She and Bumblebee left the room to investigate. It was Skywarp and Thundercracker, Looking slightly more damaged than they had been when they left. Optimus greeted them, they spoke quietly, and he dismissed them, calling Ironhide to his side. Millie ran towards them.

"Starscream has been located, however we don't have anyone repaired enough to really launch a rescue mission. We will need you, to keep him calm, but I cannot guarantee we will succeed," Optimus told her gently. He transformed, as did Ironhide, who opened his door for her. She sat nervously in the seat, glanicing at Bumblebee who waved as the two Autobots took her out to where Starscream should be. They transformed again, Millie jogging with them, as the searched for Starscream.

"Starscream! STARSCREAM!" The cries forced the Decepti-bot out of his hazed state. The voice, he knew it. He'd been listening to it in his head for hours. He tried to call back, but could only emit a pained mechanical sound. It was enough, though, and Optimus appeared, coming towards him. But it had not been the Autobot leader's voice he'd heard. As she got closer, her could finally make out Millie's small form. He blinked, groaned, reached a hand out shakily to her. She latched onto it, the best she could do for now. He could hear her crying.

"Ironhide, over here!" Optimus barked. The strong weapons-crazy mecha rushed over, grimacing at the state the seeker was in. Optimus transformed, ready to transport the critically injured Starscream back to base. Rapid fire from above caused him to change back.

"I've got him, Prime!" Ironhide assured, aiming. "It's... Soundwave and Shockwave. Looks like they want Starscream."

"Be careful! Keep Millie and Starscream out of their reach," Optimus said forcefully as they engaged in combat several hundred yards from Starscream, who had pulled Millie to the crook of his neck, just to feel her hands on his face once more before his death. He let out a robotic purr, too exhausted to muster much else. She was telling him he'd be ok, that they'd rescue him. But Optimus and Ironhide were still damaged, too much to win this fight. "Ironhide, get Millie! We cannot save Starscream, it is regrettable..." Ironhide nodded and scurried to Starscream.

"Give me the girl! If we can save her..." Starscream's optics blurred and he whimpered, not wanting to let her go. He looked at her sadly, and passed her off to Ironhide anyway.

"No! Let me stay with him!" She struggled, but was denied a return to the doomed seeker.

"Dangerous..." Starscream ground out. Even to him it sounded hard to understand. Millie bit her lip, then looked away from him. Ironhide and Optimus shouted to Starscream, in his various forms of pain he made none of it out. Just watched as they carried Millie away. Soundwave descended on Starscream, throwing him onto his chest, ending all thoughts of her. He screamed in pain, writhed helplessly as he was cuffed.

"And now, we return you to Megatron, to get all you deserve for this!" Shockwave laughed. He threw Starscream onto his back, earning another pained vocalisation, then dragged him along at a high speed until he rose from the ground, flying towards the Decepticon base with Soundwave.

§º§

"How could you just leave him! Why couldn't you have taken him with us?!" Millie screamed at Optimus. He stood calmly, taking her frustrated screams. "Huh? Drag him back, we couldn't have damaged him any further! Why did you leave him?! I thought you were supposed to help people!" She looked at him, eyes still filled with tears. Optimus sat, letting out a sigh.

"Neither Ironhide nor I were ready for such an attack. We were repaired enough simply to retrieve him. To take him under such fire would have resulted in his death, possibly yours as well. Please, Millie, we will get him back. We will end their reign. Be patient." He waited, hoping it had sunk in. She turned on her heel and left, not saying a word.

"Millie, hey, where is..." Bumblebee stopped when he saw her face. "Primus, Millie..."

"We had him. He was there... Two Decepticons came out of nowhere and over powered us. Now is hardly the time to be pointing fingers but I can't resist. We should have tried. They just left him," she said, almost numbly. Bumblebee followed her to an empty lounge and sat on the floor with her. She stared at a fixed spot on the rug, her expression unreadable.

"They did what they could while avoiding fatalities. That's our duty, to protect. We do things in the way that causes the least damage. To us, to our allies, I mean, Decepticons we trash..." he mumbled. knowing he wasn't helping. He lifted Millie and held her to his chest, to his spark. She hit him, suddenly. It wasn't painful, but it did startle him.

"Why, WHY?! I told him to be careful but he didn't listen, we were getting somewhere and he's just gone..." She took a breath.

"Sitting around pitching a fit won't do you any good," Bumblebee pointed out. Millie sniffled, nodded. "Time to work a rescue plan out of Optimus?" he offered.

"Yeah. I think it's about time we did that," she agreed rubbing her face. Bumblebee put his face in hers, her eyes met his optics.

"We'll fix it. We don't accept failure." Millie smiled at his words and hugged his neck as he stood to make his way to Optimus.

§º§

Starscream slowly rebooted his systems, optics opening. What he could see through the cracks in the lenses was devastating. He knew where he was. He was bound to a table, and could hear someone coming. Too weak to move, he just let out a small whimper as Megatron himself walked in. He said nothing, didn't look at Starscream's face, just yanked off what paneling armour was still on the nearly destroyed biomecha. Starscream began to cry, receiving a slap from Megatron.

"Don't make me rip your vocal processor out as well," he threatened, his voice deep and dripping with such ferocity that Starscream shuddered and clamped his optics shut. with his wiring, tubing, circuitry all exposed, Megatron walked over to a set of cabinetry, taking a horrid looking device from it. From the hallway, were one to face the door, the tortured screams and showers of sparks visible from the bottom of the door were all that told of what went on behind said closed door.

"Primus knows even that was too little for you," Megatron spat, slamming the door behind him. Mental numbness overtook the broken seeker Megatron left on the table, oil leaking into puddles beneath him. A thin trickle leaked from his mouth as well. He coughed a spray of it, and with a final tremble, he lost consciousness.

§º§

"But I can't help. I just keep getting told I'm dull and useless. I'd probably mess it up," Skywarp said, frowning. It didn't come out pained, just very coldly, very matter-of-factly. That hurt Millie even more than were he hurt about it.

"You'll be fine. We need you, ok? Come, just talk to Optimus," she urged. Skywarp ran a hand over his helm.

"Yeah, sure..." He started down to where Optimus conducted his meetings of this nature, and Millie scurried off to locate Thundercrcker. She found him alone, brooding in a way similar to Starscream, though Starscream did it with an earth television on. He looked at her, irritated.

"We need you, Thundercracker. Optimus has requested-"

"He left Starscream to die and I'm supposed to help him," Thundercracker growled, looking back at the blank screen. "It's not going to happen." Millie frowned.

"You aren't helping Optimus, you're helping me and most of all, you're helping Starscream. Now go down to the conference room and get your assignment." Thundercracker thought briefly of killing her, but he stood simply and walked to her, lifting her so he wouldn't have to walk so slow for her. He did drop her, though, upon entering the room. She glared at him as she stood, taking her place at one corner of the table as the Autobots began to fashion a mission to rescue one who was once their enemy.


	18. Suspicious And Vicious

So like I ran out of Bravery lyrics. Shit. So have some Ok Go lyrics. I am not affiliated with Ok Go, all lyrics are their property.

* * *

§ Sit back matter of fact  
Teasing, toying, turning, chatting, charming, hissing  
Playing the crowd  
Play that song again, another cup of Klonopin  
A nod, a glance, a half-hearted bow §

Starscream was vaguely aware of the sound of Megatron returning for the third time. He'd been trying to torture ways to infiltrate the Autobots' base out of the seeker but Starscream wouldn't speak, just screamed and sobbed. He looked at the sadistic Decepticon leader with a pained, tired expression, and Megatron simply looked down his nose at Starscream.

"Your dedication to them is baffling as you never showed it to me," he spat. Starscream just blinked. Megatron grabbed several tubes and wires in Starscream's side and twisted, a wire broke and there were sparks and Starscream cried out, but said nothing. "You can make this stop, just tell me-" a violent tug and a shriek "-what I ask!" Megatron ripped his closed fist from Starscream's side, received a horrible wail of shock and pain, and a waterfall of oil. He threw the parts to the ground and yelled for a droid to keep Starscream from dying. The seeker was growing dizzy, and his whole body started to shudder. Megatron picked up an instrument and smashed it in Starscream's face before leaving the droid to its work. Starscream's right optic was shattered and no longer lit up. As the droid repaired him and his dizziness ceased, he hoped his optic would be fixed as well. The droid, however, was just to keep him from dying and nothing more. It left and Starscream still had only one somewhat functioning optic. Silence then. Silence and dark. The seeker let himself lapse into a fragile state of sleep.

***

Millie was wilting without Starscream. She was lost in thought and seemed to work like a zombie, while the tenderness was in her actions, it was not in her heart. Optimus was holed up in his own world as well, and had been for the week they'd endured after losing the seeker, pulling random 'bots into his office, the monitor room, then dismissing them usually after 45 minutes or so. Millie was hoping to be called, hoping she'd get to hear more of the plan than the generalisation of "sneak in and steal Starscream". Her hopes were fulfilled, and Optimus sat her down on the table.

"Now listen. You will be going with us to rescure Starscream. However. You will need to stay with Ironhide, no matter what happens. We may not be successful. If that's the case, you will have to come back with us. I know you don't want to hear this but there is a chance we will have to leave him behind." Optimus stopped, waiting for her to speak. She stared back.

"Why?" Millie looked defiant. Optimus was a bit startled by her fire. "Why do you accept the defeat? Why not go balls out to save him?"

"We can not risk the lives of many to save the life of one. We will try tomorrow, and several more times if we need to, but how many times can you take the heart ache?" he countered. "It's very dangerous and if we lose him, we tried and... we will not give up with out a valliant fight, Millie. Believe me." He stood. "Rest now. You will need to be up early tomorrow." She stood, and without warning, after Optimus had set her on the ground again, she hugged his leg before taking on the maze of the Autobots base, towards Starscream's empty quarters. The clock turned a number; 11:57 to 11:58. She cuddled up in her bedding, her eyes glazing over, as the thought of finding Starscream washed over her for the trillionth time. Millie shut her eyes tightly, and managed to find a fitful sleep.

***

Alarms. Optimus shouting. This wasn't a standard fight. This was not the Autobots launching the offensive to draw the Decepticons out of their base, to secure a way to Starscream. Millie stumbled out of the room, still zipping her jeans, and raced for the base's exit.

"You want your coward back?!" Megatron was screaming. She squeezed her way to the front of the Autobots, and was very sorry she'd done so. Megatron, surrounded by a heavy fleet of Decepticons, was standing at the enterance holding a very defeated looking Starscream up by his throat. He prodded the seeker's back with a gun, Starscream writhed weakly. When Millie cried for him, he rolled his one good optic at her. Megatron smirked. "The pathetic human female you have sought to protect, Starscream." Megatron aimed his gun at Millie, prompting another very weak struggle from Starscream. An Autobot snatched her up and carried her towards the back of the ranks, causing a mechanical moan to wrench itself from Starscream's very mangled vocal processors.

"You don't have much time, Autobots!" Megatron yelled. "I will get everything I want from this sparkless traitor! I already know how to get the human!" He sneered and he and his ranks shoved off, leaving a very baffled group of Autobots still there at the enterance, dumbstruck.

"Why didn't anyone attack?! What's wrong with you?!" Millie yelled. She was seeing red, and Wheeljack was trying to soothe her, though rescuing her from Megatrin's rifle had only further upset her as she saw it more as being taken away from Starscream. She was becoming irrational. Even with Optimus trying to tell her that, being caught unaware as they had been, attacking would have been suicide, she refused to see his side. She locked herself in Starscream's old quarters, and was allowed to cool. Ratchet was the one who finally went looking for her.

"We need you, Millie. You were fine before you met him, you'll be fine now," he offered. Silence. He was prepared and unlocked the door, finding her with her back to him, laying in a corner. "Knock it off, kid. You're tougher than this. The crew, the ship, we all need you, I certainly do, I can't spread myself so thin to cover your work too. You're just being selfish, you know. You should probably forget about him for now, unfortunately. You're doing harm to more than just yourself." He was not going to be soft with her.

Silence. Then...

"Where am I needed, Ratchet?"

***

Reeling from seeing her, from being so close, Starscream was returned to his hell, in shock, and it was only when he was alone again that gravity struck once more, and he began to cry. He cried and sobbed, screaming like his world had exploded. Megatron, cruelly as always, sauntered in and casually destroyed what was left of the seeker's vocal processor, and, wiping his hands on a rag, strutted out of the room, leaving his victim to soundlessly grieve the loss of his very reason to be.


	19. Don't Ask Me

I liked teh tortures. I relly dooooooo. These lyrics are how Starscream feels towards Optimus.

* * *

§ Don't sit there and play just  
So frank, so straight, so candid  
So thoughtful, so gracious  
So sound, so even-handed §

Starscream didn't see or hear anyone for nearly 2 days. It was that second night, as he was hoping he'd be forgotten and left to die, that a droid entered his room. It set about fixing his vocal processors, then scurried back out. Megatron entered not five minutes later, grabbing Starscream by his throat. He earned a whimper.

"I'm going to ask you a question. It's a very simple question, with an obvious answer. However, if you answer incorrectly, I will sever any part of your body I think you deserve. Am I clear?" he hissed, leaning over Starscream. The seeker nodded. Megatron took his hand, grabbing his thumb.

"Now. Will you be a good little Decepticon, and follow my orders?" he sneered.

"Nnn... nn... no," Starscream ground out. He yelped as his thumb was ripped off, and looked at Megatron in shock. He panted in a bit of panic.

"Let's try again," Megatron sighed, grabbing Starscream's entire hand. "Join the Decepticons, where you belong."

"No," Starscream gasped out, bracing for the pain. Megatron ripped his hand off and dropped it to the floor casually, Starscream's wrist pouring oil. The seeker cried out loudly and felt tears stinging his optics.

"You worthless coward! You sorry excuse for spare parts, not good enough to be scrap metal! Get back in line! Follow my orders!" Megatron yelled, grabbing Starscreams entire arm.

"No!" Starscream yelled back, already crying as his arm was ripped off. He shrieked and started struggling. "Ok, stop! I'll... I'll obey you, Megatron. You are the only leader I know," he gasped. Megatron threw his arm the floor as well. He opened the door of Starscream's cell, calling for a droid. They were a new installment at the wishes of Shockwave.

"Repair him to combat working status. And be quick about it!" Megatron turned on his heel and left. Starscream lay on the table, shaking and losing precious oil at a rapid rate. The droid called for backup, and the only other droid scurried in. As they worked without any emotion, Starscream lost consciousness craving Millie's touch.

***

But back at the autobot's base, Millie was not thinking about Starscream. She was helping Wheeljack and Cliffjumper repair a damaged weapon, a very large cannon like gun.

"Ok, just a bit of lubrication so it can swivel, loosen the wires... Ok, try it Wheeljack!" Millie said turning to watch the shot. Wheeljack set the cannon gun off, and it fired a perfect shot that landed in the middle of a big expanse of rock and sand.

"Good job! And that was the last of them, too! Hopefully, we'll be a little more effective now," Cliffjumper said happily.

"Feels like we did a huindred of them," Wheeljack sighed. "They better help, I don't want to have done all that for nothing!"

"Bah, we're that good," Millie assured him. They pulled the gun back into the storage room it was housed in, and made their way back into the base. Millie made her way to a shower that Ratchet had installed for her and washed the grime and sweat away, trying to keep her thoughts concentrated on or two little things. After dressing she went looking for Bumblebee, finding him spread lazily on the floor of one room, some nature documentary on the television. She'd gotten her hands on three televisions for very cheap, and with the help of a few mischevoius bots, started stealing cable.

"You're finally done?" Bumblebee asked hopefully. Millie nodded and sat by his head.

"Yeah, 'bout time too. That took so much longer than it needed to," she sighed.

"Decepticons mobile. All Autobots be warned." Optimus' voice was ignored by most 'bots, as it was merely a yellow light, a caution flag. Millie rubbed her eyes.

"Are you coping ok?" Bumblebee asked her.

"Sure. Nothing I can do. And I am needed here," she answered sounding just a little distracted. Bumblebee lifted her and sat her on his chest. "Oh hi," she said, laying on her stomach to watch the television. "Why are we watching frog porn?"

"What?" Bumblebee asked dumbly. Millie laughed.

"When two humans exploit the act of mating, it's called porn. We're watching frogs mate, looks like frog porn to me," she answered. Bumblebee chuckled.

"It's just on. It was monkeys eating things called figs earlier. Monkeys are weird," he answered.

"I should take you to a zoo, you'd love it," Millie taunted.

"If the zoo wants him, let them come and get him," a smug sounding Jazz answered as he sauntered in cooly. He actually knew what a zoo was, having taken Millie one day as she waited for Bumblebee to finish the work he'd been assigned. It was already late, and it wasn't very long before they retired for the night. Millie stayed with Bumblebee again, as she had been for several days, slowly recovering from having Starscream in her life.

***

Anolther crash, another bang, just another attack forcing Millie and Bumblebee up when they'd planned to sleep in. Millie jetted to find Ratchet, Bumblebee hurried to the scene of the battle. It was utter chaos, the Decepticons were trying and doing a very good job of attacking and destroying, and the Autobots had no chance to make any plans for defense. Unbeknownst to them, a familiar face was soaring through the battle, a two timing Decepticon with a taste for power and leadership, but was given only defeat and abuse.

Starscream zipped around, shooting and intentionally missing every shot, however the scene was such a mess, the battle so disorganised, that no one noticed this. He weaved between shots, avoiding them with grace and ease. He dropped to the ground, slowly making his way to a cluster of Autobots, in which Bumblebee was stationed, shooting accurately and with much gusto. He saw Starscream and nearly fell over.

"Starscream! You're ok!" he yelled happily. Starscream glared.

"Shut up. I don't need attention drawn to me." He shot back at the Decepticons, hoping to whatever God existed that he would not be seen. Bumblebee stayed glued to the seeker's side as the Autobots slowly nade ground, pushing the decepticons further and further back, until they were nearly fighting at the Decepticon base. Defeated, the Decepticons retreated, and the Autobots were reined back. Ironhide spotted Starscream and went for him, attacking him from behind and pinning him to the ground.

"Get off of me!" Starscream yelped, writhing beneath the larger, stronger bot.

"Ironhide stop, he's ok!" Bumblebee yelled, hesitant to do more than just say something. Ironhide slapped a pair of stasis cuffs on the seeker, and dragged him to his feet. "Stop it, he's on our side!"

"Ha. Right, the Decepticons launch a nearly flawless attack and you think this traitor is good just because he took a few shots at his own?" Ironhide spat at Bumblebee.

"Have you noticed I wasn't leaving with them?! You aft-" Starscream was interrupted with a well-placed punch to the jaw. As he stood in pain, shocked, momentarily blinded, Ironhide slung the seeker over his shoulder and made a run back to the base. He managed to get in without getting anywhere near Millie, and he threw the seeker down on his side at the feet of Optimus Prime.

"You... we trusted you," he said in shock to Starscream. The seeker's vision was still spinning.

"I had to do something to get out. What better than to stage a fight and slip back into your ranks? I was there for two miserable weeks praying I'd die, because none of you so-called justice fighters came to save me," he snarled back. Optimus lifted him by his bound wrists and studied his face.

"We'll be keeping you in a cell in the bowels of the ship, where you usually find yourself. You cannot be trusted. Don't expect Millie to come to your aid, either. If you require any repairs, Ratchet will see to them." As Ironhide escorted Starscream out, Megatron appeared on a monitor.

"You slag heap, you took my warrior again! And after I'd just cleaned him up for battle, too," he sneered. Optimus glared at him.

"We will terminate him. You will not be getting anything back but a bucket of spare parts," he said strongly.

"Aww, and after you tried to rescue him the last time you got your hands on him? Will my other seekers share his fate or will you try to rehabilitate them too? I'm not through with you and your kind yet, Prime, I will get my seekers back, they're still my property!" The screen shut off. Optimus sighed, disgusted. He headed out to the med bays, looking for Ratchet.

"Please go to the holding cells. There is something of interest there for you. Please don't say anything to Millie," he whispered. Ratchet nodded. He made a stealthy exit from the med bay and headed down, down to the cell where a trembling Starscream lay on his side facing the wall.

"Get up," Ratchet snapped.

"Let me die. Don't repair me just to terminate me later," he growled back.

"GET UP!! Ratchet roared. Starscream scurried to his feet, and stared warily at Ratchet, who roughly went over the seeker, fixing a few minor things but seeing nothing really wrong.

"Where is the girl?" Starscream asked flatly, already knowing his answer.

"Forget her. I'd never let her be near anyone as treacherous as you," Ratchet grumbled. He left, letting the cell door slam behind him. Starscream collapsed, in a daze. He'd struggled all this time, and that light he'd seen at the end of his tunnel had been nothing but a train, a train that had just hit him and threw him back to reality.


	20. Maybe This Time

Reunion, awwws. Lyrics = Starscream can't believe they don't believe him! What a lack of believing here!

* * *

§ So listen Im not trying to say anything at all here  
There isnt much thats left anyway that hasn't been said  
But don't you think that possibly this time its different  
Don't you think that maybe this time you were wrong? §

Millie was patching up Prowl's arm, starting her 3rd day of repairs. He was watching her intently, marveling at her expertise and the gentle manner in which she went about mending his injuries.

"It looks so much worse that it is," Millie promised him."See, aside from the structural damage, very little was affected." She pointed to the intricate maze of wires and tubes. Prowl nodded.

"I'm grateful, at least it's easier on you, and you can quickly move to someone with a greater need for your help,' he said thoughtfully. She smiled, welding and soldering his arm shut. She looked at him with a joy he had not seen with her for quite some time, then moved back to Skywarp. He'd taken a devastating blast to his middle, it looked like someone used a cookie cutter to remove his entire stomach area. The first step was to reestablish a circulatory system. She had a plethora of tubing at her disposal, and she was making good use of it while trying to be conservative. This leg of the marathon to restore Skywarp was nearly done. Millie threw the tubing down as she finished, rubbing her tired eyes as she stumbled down the hall to Bumblebee's room to rest.

***

Day four and Starscream, as far as Ratchet and Optimus could see, hadn't moved at all. Ratchet would set an energon cube down in the morning, and Optimus would retrieve it, then empty, every evening. But they saw him in the same position, in the same spot, day after day. That evening, as Optimus was taking the empty cube, Starscream spoke.

"Please. I want to see the girl. I know she's here." His tone held no hope and Optimus was feeling guilty.

"Let me bring a few other Autobots here. I will let you plead your case. It will be up to us, as a group, to decide your fate," he said quietly. He received no answer and walked away.

With most of the Autobots outside now repairing damage to the ship/base, Millie was alone to wander as she pleased. She was doing just that, taking in the unusual and welcomed silence. She took a deep breath, and as she held it, something caught her ear. A 'bot, for sure. Crying, perhaps? She went back through the med bay, all the 'bots there were in recharge. She shuddered. Millie started wandering down towards the cells, maybe they'd taken a prisoner and had not told her. Maybe they thought it was too dangerous. One cell held a Decepticon. She could see the shadowy figure. It was familiar, but...

"Millie! Milliiieee!" Bumblebee was yrelling for her, and she rushed back up to greet him. He scooped her up in his hands and took her outside. "I did this part," he said proudly, showing her the section he'd fixed. Millie clapped.

"Well done! Hopefully you don't have your eye on my job now," she teased. Bumblebee laughed and hugged her to his chest. "You all finished really fast, was it not as bad as you were worried about?"

"Well, it was, but it was all the outer armour. Basically we just had to replate. There were some spots that had pretty extensive damage, but only two or three. We were lucky," he said, sounding serious again.

"There's a Decepticon prisoner in one of the cells," Millie said, trying to drag something out of Bumblebee. He looks at her.

"Is there? Who is it?" he asked, trying to play dumb.

"You really don't know?" Millie asked, sounding disappointed.

"I don't. Have I ever lied to you?" he replied.

"Well yes, that one time about the monster in that one room, but no, I guess not..." She looked up at the stars.

"How is Skywarp coming along?" Bumblebee asked, trying to distract her. She turns back to him.

"Very well. I've got circulation, i just need to do wiring and replace the armour. His spark is still online miraculously, but understandably he can't wake up," Millie answered. She yawned. "I need bed," she told Bumblebee. The yellow 'bot nodded in agreement.

"I could use some recharging too." He carried her back inside, then set her on her makeshift bed. She cuddled up in the warmth of her blankets, and waited until she was sure Bumblebee was out. She slunk around, finding even Optimus out like a light, and walked quietly to the cell where the prisoner was. She looked back up the walkway, then moved to the bars. What she saw made her gasp with a million emotions. The sniffling bot jerked his head to see what the sound was, and he too froze.

"Millie." She let out a muffled sob into her hands at hearing her name from his lips, and let herself into the cell. Starscream scooped her up, pulling her to his neck and face. Her arms went around his neck as well as she could manage, and she rested her cheek against his jaw. "They said I wouldn't be allowed to see you." His voice was strained.

"They never told me you were here," she murmured, one hand now stroking his cheek. He sat with his back against the wall, facing the bars, his optics closed in ecstasy. "They hurt you..." He sighed.

"They did." Starscream was holding on to Millie for dear life, trying to take comfort in her and use it to squash the memories of being so abused.

"My poor Starscream. You'll be safe now-" She was cut off.

"I'm not. I heard Prime saying he wanted to terminate me. My fate will be decided tomorrow by him and some jury or some such nonsense," Starscream growled hatefully. He felt Millie's grip tighten. He held her a bit tighter in his hand in response.

"I'll make sure nothing bad happens," Millie promised. She pulled back to look at the seeker better. His optics, half closed, burned through her.

"They cannot catch you here. You... need to leave." He looked away. Millie leaned in and kissed his cheek. With a final hug, he set her to the floor, and save for a final look back as she shut the door, Millie hurried up the walkway back to Bumblebee's room.


	21. Kind Of Cursed Kind Of Blessed

Sad chapter? I hope so!

* * *

§ Vision blue and blurry  
Fallen angels in a flurry  
Spinning through the empty room §

But Millie couldn't stay away. She returned to Starscream, slipping into the cell and resting against his chest as he held her to him.

"No one ever took the time. No one ever cared. I never had a reason to care, either, I guess," Starscream mumbled drowsily. Millie ran her fingers in circles on his chest.

"You only cared because I cared," Millie said.

"Things evolved," Starscream said simply. "I'm still better than any of these Autobots, I take what I want while they toil away being nice and submissive, making treaties, and get nothing. I'd still be a far better leader than Megatron." He sighed. They stayed in such a way, the giant mecha holding the small young woman, for nearly an hour before they decided it was safer if they were not found together, and she slept in Starscream's empty room.

The following morning was turning out to be one full of heartache. Starscream was the first to fall victim.

"After reviewing your case and hearing your side, my fellow Autobots and I have decided that terminating you would be most beneficial to us and possibly the Decepticons. You are a liar and a traitor, and a danger to both parties. I'm sorry it came to this, Starscream. However, we are willing to grant any final requests you may have," Optimus stated. He sounded numb, unemotional. Starscream felt gutted. He sat where he was, staring dumbly at the floor. He nearly didn't get his request out.

"The girl." Two simple words that held so much meaning. Optimus and Ratchet, the only two standing at the cell door, exchanged glances.

"Ratchet will bring her. You will not be allowed to be alone with her, but you can say good bye just the same," Optimus said quietly. Ratchet left to find Millie, and found her tinkering away with a generator they'd been trying to fix for a couple of days. She would be the second victim.

"Millie. We need to talk to you." His tone and face made Millie's heart shatter. She set her tools down and followed him to the depths of the base, to the cell where she already knew Starscream was. Their eyes met as she walked slowly to the bars. He stood and walked to her, only to sit again in front of her. He reached his hand through the bars and she latched on.

"He has been here for several days. We have decided to terminate him," Optimus told her.

"Are you scared?" she asked Starscream, ignoring Optimus. Starscream blinked his optics at her.

"No. I have never once felt an emotion in my life," he answered.

"You've cried before. You look like you will now. That's a response to fear or sadness or anger," Millie countered.

"A reaction to extreme circumstances. Hate and love, mostly," he replied.

"You feel hate and love." Millie was confused but enjoying the conversation.

"No. Love isn't something you feel. It's something you do." Starscream stopped. "I did it… for you." He flinched as Millie finally began to cry. "You did it for me, right?" She could only nod. "It showed in your actions." He paused. "I hate your kind. They are selfish and narrow minded. But I have always been the same. You were finally breaking me from that habit. I was going somewhere." He laughed bitterly. "I always lose what I earn. I don't get to keep anything."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Starscream," she managed out, in a broken voice. She turned to Optimus. "I knew he was here. I saw him last night. You kept it from me, for what, to save my feelings until these last moments? What are you thinking you'll gain? You fought to save him, you had me help you, and now you want him dead?" She turned and looked at Starscream again, feeling the same pangs of dread that he was. She shut her eyes tightly before pulling from his hand and running away, her face in her hands. He watched, his expression vacant. He jumped up when the door opened, desperate to get away, but having no hope. Ratchet and Optimus literally had the mecha trapped in a corner. Optimus grabbed him, strongly, and Ratchet took an awful device, it looked much like a taser, and turned it on. Starscream's breath glitched horribly, and he shut his optics. He pictured Millie's face as he awaited the inevitable. A cry loud enough to reach Millie then rang out, and she burst into sobs so heavy at what she knew had happened, it made her physically ill. Millie was wracked with guilt. She had run away. When Starscream really needed her, she'd turned and left.

There was unrest. Things were… not right. She heard crashes, and yelling. An alarm went off. Millie still sat in Starscream's room, uncaring. When she heard Optimus screaming for help, that a bot was down, she only shrunk further into the corner she was in.

"Millie! Get out here!" A shrieky, obnoxious, demanding voice.

"You'll not lay a hand on her, murderer!" A strong, in-control voice followed. Millie slipped from Starscream's room, he saw her as he dashed past the hall. He swung around, grabbing her, then made for the exit.

"Hold on, girl, I can promise you no safety," he said strongly, trying to hold her to his chest as he was fired upon.

"Hold fire, we can not put Millie in danger," Optimus commanded. Jazz, Prowl, and Ironhide shot from the base, transformed, going to hunt them down. Starscream grunted and transformed as well, shimmying Millie into the cockpit and shooting off. He landed atop an impossible cliff, safe from anything that couldn't fly.

"Girl?" He was suddenly not using her name.

"Millie." She half corrected. But he was silent. "What happened?" Still he said nothing.

"I killed Ratchet." Starscream was numb. His voice showed it.

"What?" Millie thought she was hearing things.

"It was me or him. I love… I want to live, for you. I had to get out of there. I couldn't let them kill me," Starscream said slowly. "You hate me," he whispered when she failed to answer.

"Please take me back to the base, and leave," she said. Starscream's spark tore in two. He did as asked. He set her down near the Autobot's base, far away enough to not be seen. Millie stood with her back to him. "Don't come back, Starscream." Millie walked away and into the base, not looking back. Starscream gathered his wits and stood, and went back to the Decepticon base. It was quiet. Still. Not empty, Starscream could sense others there. They were simply not busy. He froze at the footsteps behind him. At the horrible voice from the tyrant of his nightmares.

"I saw you, Starscream. I saw you kill their medic, and I saw you leave the girl. You have returned, haven't you? Welcome back."


	22. Fragile Arts

Gawd. I want to do X with this story. Just saw TF2. It was... uh... hey look, it's raining... But I love Starscream all over again! Sorry so short, but next chapter will be the battle wherein he and Millie rejoin.

* * *

§ You must have mastered this  
The fragile art of a good excuse  
The little things that get you to believe §

Starscream's optics glazed. He was trying to disassociate again, trying to lose any thought that made him an individual. He wanted to be more automatic, more clockwork… more machine.

"Yes, Lord Megatron," he said mechanically. "I have returned." He shuddered as Megatron caressed his face tormentingly. He willed himself to be still and accept the torture. Megatron smiled cruelly.

"My pet knows to return to him master, doesn't he?" Megatron pulled his hand back, and turned on Starscream, smashing his face with his hand, knocking the seeker on his back. "Next time, you won't leave at all, like a good pet." Megatron walked away, to where ever he was headed prior to seeing Starscream. The defeated Starscream shoved himself up and slowly made his way to a room in the back of the base, curling up in a fetal position on what was to be used as a bed.

The silence kept him awake. The clock didn't tick every minute, numbers flipping; Millie wasn't quietly talking him to sleep; Autobots weren't talking and laughing. He wrenched his optics shut and forced himself into a hibernate.

*******

Starscream was getting frantic. In just two days Being back at the base was wearing thin on his nerves. He made for the exit, attempting to get away, maybe slink to the Autobots base to remind himself of what he lost. He tortured himself with the memories, regurgitating and redigesting certain pieces.

"Where are you going?" The voice was mean. Evil. It froze Starscream. A hand grabbed his throat and slammed him face first into the wall. Starscream flinched.

"I was merely going to spy, your leadership, see if - OW, stop, please!" he gasped, the hand tightening.

"How am I supposed to trust you?" the voice snarled.

"Megatron, please, I wouldn't lie to you now," Starscream pleaded. Megatron released him.

"Very well. If you arent back withing one Earth hour you will be hunted down." Megatron left him, and he left the base quickly, flying over the Autobots' base, sulking, circling as if doing so would make them magically accept him again. Thundercracker walked out of it, and transformed and flew up to Starscream, circling the opposite direction.

"Are you going to kill me?" Starscream asked flatly.

"No. The human misses you," he answered nonchalantly.

"I thought she was angry."

"She was." Thundercracker barrel rolled a few times for fun. "They are working on repairing Ratchet. It is slow but seems promising."

"No derogatory statements?" Starscream taunted.

"Why should I? this relationship with them seems to be mutually beneficial. Why ruin it?" he asked, sounding irritated. "Perhaps, when Ratchet is repaired, I will tell you."

"You have a plan," Starscream mused.

"Come back. Instigate an attack. You'll be chased. Millie will see you. certainly, she won't be able to let you walk away again." He said it with such confidence, Starscream's circuits spazzed with hope.

"I don't see how that wouldn't work," Starscream agreed. "Why are you helping me?"

"She cries a lot. it's irritating." Thundercracker made for the base again, without even saying goodbye. Starscream made for his own base, empowered by the hope Thundercracker had given him.

*******

"Please work... God, please..." Millie murmured under breath. She slowly lowered the spark into Ratchet's chest, closed the casing. And she waited. Ratchet's optics flickered, and Millie let out a small cry. When they came on permanently and focused on her, she yelled out with joy and hugged Ratchet's neck and tears of joy streamed down her cheeks.

"Millie..." His voice was grating. "How long... what..."

"Starscream... but I saved you! You're alive!" she said loudly, beaming at him. He smiled back, dazed, but happy.

"Your ability has far surpassed what I thought you capable of. I am impressed," Ratchet said groggily. "Where is Prime?"

"I'll go get him, stay, you need to recharge badly," she said, hurrying off. "I'll be right back!" Milie raced down the corridors, yelling for Optimus and Bumblebee and any one else she expected to be around.

"Ratchet's alive!"

"The girl fixed Ratchet on her own!"

Word rippled through the base and everyone went to see Ratchet, who sat now in the recovery bay with Millie glued to his side. Optimus was the last to see him.

"It is good to have you back, old friend. Millie, we are eternally in your debt for your services. Words cannot express my gratitude..."

*******

"So. When ever you're ready, Starscream," Thundercracker tempted. Starscream was silent for several moments.

"I will give her a day with him. Tomorrow, Thundercracker, and you'd better be there to assist me!" Starscream snapped. It came out louder than he meant, and he looked around nervously. Seeing no one, he continued. "When the sun is just rising, while it's still grey out, meet me behind the Autobots base."

"I don't understand your affection for the human," Thundercracker noted. Starscream rolled his optics. "Whatever. It will shut her up and perhaps we can help get Skywarp back online."

"Anything you want. Just get me back in the base."


	23. Reckless and Unfrightened

Ok, I think I have only one more chapter in me XD But uh, good stuff eh? Cliffhanger! Lyrics reflect Starscream and Millie being in their own world for a few precious moments before... well... Anyway! BIG compliment from Dino o_o new best bud raght thurr.

* * *

§ For a while, with the vertigo cured  
We were alive, we were pure  
The void took the shape of all that you were §

"We should do something together," Millie said, trying to suppress a yawn. Ratchet shook his head.

"From what I've heard you haven't rested in nearly three days. You should rest now, and I'm sure it wouldn't hurt me if I rested as well," he said gently.

"Bringing you back was far more important. I had to replace every fuse, completely rewire your main circuitry, your oil and lubrication tubes were all dried out..." She shook her head.

"And now the big question is, where is Starscream and do you resent him?" he asked. His face was serious. Millie stared back, her gaze unfixed.

"He took me, and he stopped using my name. He told me what he did, and... I told him to bring me back, and then to leave. He complied. He didn't even argue with me. Which, now, seems very strange," she tells him. Ratchet nods.

"I don't have any hard feelings. If anything, I'm almost impressed. He saved his own after burners just to get back to you. This hateful, nasty Decepticon creep that could think only of you," Ratchet explained, "And you're the same way. You haven't slept for how long? 72 hours? Just to get me back up and running."

"I slept for about 10 of those hours. Didn't leave your side for much, there was just too much I had to do for you," she answered quietly. Ratchet looked at the floor.

"Well, rest now. I'm going to be ok," he assured her. Millie took her leave, going first to Bumblebee's room then to the empty room that, were she to have her way, would have a Starscream in it. Millie sat amidst all her cushions and blankets, then curled up in them and fell asleep.

*******

"What did you tell Megatron?" Thundercracker asked, leaning back against the cliff face. He stared Starscream down in an almost attractive arrogance.

"Nothing. He doesn't even know I'm here," Starscream answered softly.

"This is gonna be real simple. Go into the base, yell some insults, threaten them, whatever you feel like, I'll give chase, take us to your court..." Thundercracker looked at his fellow seeker with an expression that said "Well, fault it. Go ahead and try."

"I don't want my selfish act to caue any more Autobot casualties. I've caused enough of them, and enough pain to the girl. I'd like to stop," he said. Thundercracker shook his head.

"You certainly aren't the same Starscream I used to raid with," he mused. Starscream frowned.

"Can we just do this already, please?" he snapped, irritated. He was anxious and scared and just wanted to get back to what he viewed as his little niche in a world where he felt only one person deemed his existence as something other than a waste of parts. Thundercracker made an inviting gesture with his hand, and Starscream slowly made his way into the Autobots base.

"Autobots! Cowards, why not come out and play with us?" Starscram yelled. "Or do you choose to hide in your little base instead?" He looked at Thundercracker frantically.

"I see him! I'll get him!" Thundercracker yelled, transforming. Starscream did the same and they shot off.

"Thundercracker, you should have waited for back up, Optimus said through their comm link, not unkindly. "We're mobilising. Prepare for battle." Thundercracker followed Starscream to the Decepticon base, where he taunted them to draw them out. The battle was quick to ignite, and Thundercracker and Starscream circled ahead trying to find Millie, taking lazy, poorly aimed shots at each other.

"Starscream, I see the human. This way," Thundercracker said in a hushed tone. He descended, landing gracefully in front of Millie and Ratchet as they waited for their cue to rush in and repair any minor damage a 'bot sustained that would leave him vulnerable. Starscream landed at his side and immediately felt ill.

"Well well. Hello, Starscream," Ratchet greeted, almost warmly. He looked at the medical officer, then at Millie. A shot from behind landed close to them, and instinctively, Starscream took Millie in his hands to shield her. "Still you, I see. I suppose this was a ploy to get back here?" Ratchet interrogated.

"Yes," Starscream admitted, setting Millie down again.

"To come back for me?" Millie asked. She seemed numb. Starscream knelt over her, partly to protect her should another shot come their way, partly to just be closer.

"Yes. I'm... I want to make it up to you-" he looked at Ratchet briefly "-and to Ratchet. I'm not proud of what I did."

"Though your presentation was flawed, you were simply trying to stay alive for Millie," Ratchet reiterated. "You can hardly be faulted for that." Ratchet watched as Millie moved towards Starscream, resting against his leg. "Convincing Prime of anything will be difficult. And not just him, the whole base..."

"Well, we need an idea," Millie answered, surprised at how little anger or bitterness or any negativity she felt towards Starscream. He gently nudged her away, getting an idea. He transformed and flew off without saying anything.

"Guess you aren't too upset with him, Millie."

*******

Starscream landed in the thick of battle, behind Optimus Prime.

"It's not hard to see that you did this on purpose," Optimus said to him as the fought together. "You want to come back. I simply cannot trust you anymore."

"I fight for your side, Prime," Starscream snarled defensively.

"The I suppose you'll just have to face Mehatron when this fight is over," Optimus said, sounding cold. Starscream's spark churned. He continued to fight at Optimus' side, but the battle was short and was one of the rare times the Autobots lost. Aa they retreated, Starscream tried to flee with them. Megatron spotted him, at last, and grabbed him. Starscream shrieked.

"OPTIMUS! How dare you send my own warrior to me as a spy! Come back here and fight me! You want me dead so bad, come do it!" Megatron roared. Silence followed. The battle scene froze. Everyone watched the two leaders. Optimus stood not but a football field's distance away from his foe. Megatron clamped his hand a touch tighter around the seeker's throat.

"Optimus, please-" Starscream struggled but was cut off as Megatron squeezed hard enough to bend armour.

"Enough, Megatron. This war is between you and I. No more innocent lives-"

"Innocent?! He has backstabbed us both and killed your medic, how can you defend him now??" Megatron threw Starscream down and kicked him hard enough to send him sliding. Ratchet grabbed Millie and the rushed to his side. "Your medic was killed and still is kind to that coward. Disgusting."

"Fight me, Megatron. I am your fight, not anyone else," Optimus taunted as he readied his weaponry. Megatron shook with anger, readied his own weapons.

"And I'll reduce you to scrap metal not fit to line the bottom of my feet!"

The two leaders engaged in heavy one on one battle as Millie's fingers flirted over Starscream's throat, making sure the damage was only cosmetic. He looked at her, almost lovingly, then at the fight before him.

"I missed your hands," he said quietly to her. She kissed his cheek, quickly, almost nervously. Starscream stood then, praying to whatever God was out there that Megatron would finally die.

Megatron fell, and as Optimus raised his weapon to deliver the final blow Megatron kicked his legs out from under him, their positions switching. This was the end. Autobots would scramble in fear of Megatron's reign. Starscream would probably be killed. Millie's future would be bleak at best. Megatron would do to everyone what had been done to him. And all that Starscream had worked for would be in vain. But Starscream would not allow this future. He prayed his wouldn't be erradicated at his final decision. As Megatron brought his sword down to slice Optimus' spark, Starscream lunged between them.

But Megatron's sword did not stop.

The blade melted a path through Starscream's side. He tumbled to a stop on the other side of the two leaders from where Millie and Ratchet were.

Furious, Optimus took a killing blow that not only destroyed Megatron's face and head, but his spark, his torso, everything that let him function. The Decepticons retreated without their leader's remains.

All eyes turned to the fallen Starscream, the blade in his side a gruesome tribute to the blow he took to save Optimus Prime.

Silence.

And several Autobots started crying.


	24. The Fix Is In

Mk, so I'm looking at 1 more, maybe 2. But the going is slow and I am sorry. A familiar face will return, so stay tuned. But feel free to brbio or get a drink...

* * *

§ We'll forge a little life dear (oh dear) and double down our debts,  
and I guess it stands to reason  
that the passing seasons will slowly dull regrets §

"Give him some space, back off!" Optimus barked. The Autobots did as told, backing away but watching the stricken Decepticon. Starscream stirred and his optics fluttered open. He groaned at the catastrophic pain in his side. A shaky arm reached up and he pulled the sword out, in a shower of sparks, weakly throwing it. Oil gushed from the ragged hole in his side where the sword had been. Ratchet bustled his way through the crowd in time to watch Starscream try to shove himself but fail miserably, success coming only in forcing more valuable fluids from his gaping wound.

"Stay down Starscream, you'll kill yourself," Ratchet almost begged.

"I killed you. I killed you. Why must you insist on…" Starscream's words ended with a pained cry as he completely collapsed. Ratchet's hands fumbled with the hole, trying to dry it up to keep Starscream stable enough to be transported away. "Where is she?" he growled through the pain.

"I don't know. Shut up and let me deal with your injury," Ratchet snapped.

"I want to see-"

"You can't if you're dead. Now shut up and stop making it worse!" Ratchet nearly yelled. The Autobots were dispersing now, tending to fallen friends. Bumblebee stayed with Starscream. "Bee, help me get him onto the carrier," Ratchet commanded as he linked his arms under Starscream's. Bumblebee took his legs and they lifted him, earning a cry.

"It hurts, stop moving me!" Starscream wheezed and sucked in a deep breath as they set him down and the pain began to slowly subside. Ratchet looked down at him, studied his optics. "My vision… fading…"

"You've lost too much fluid and you're going into shock. Try to stay with us Starscrem," Ratchet said as he and Bumblebee carried the seeker off the field. He started to shake. Ratchet cursed and they picked up their pace.

"Top priority, make way! Move!" Bumblebee yelled as they rushed into the base. Millie heard but ignored the commotion, tending to the 'bots in front of her, setting up IV feeds and spark monitors and giving her favourites like Jazz and Prowl affectionate caresses to their faces in comfort.

"Millie? I'm sure you know-" Optimus tried as he stood watching her tend to his friends. She cut him off.

"I do. Ratchet and Wheeljack can fix him. I will be there when I can, but I need to take care of others first. There are only so many hands here," she answered maturely. Optimus nodded in agreement.

"Your efforts are appreciated. Thank you Millie," he said seriously as he left. Millie sighed and rubbed her face. She pushed her hair back and carried on with her work. The battle had been so long that there had been enough damage done to take several days of her time unassisted.

As she toiled over several Autobots at a time, Ratchet and Wheeljack worked to repair Starscream.

"It caused pretty severe damage, honestly," Ratchet said, sounding discouraged.

"He was talking and awake, that should count for something," Wheeljack countered. Ratchet shook his head.

"All I know is, if Millie is fixing up Skywarp, who's missing his torso, we can fix this. In theory. I don't know. It's pretty bad," he said. His hands were covered with a decent amount of oil as it was. He and Wheeljack removed the marred armour covering Starscream's torso to better see the path the blade had created. It was one clear hole starting from his side and ending just a millimeter from his spark. "If it had been any deeper at all, Starscream would be dead." Wheeljack peered over and gasped.

"One lucky 'bot, that's for sure," he agreed. Between the two of them, Ratchet and Wheeljack had Starscream repaired in just slightly longer than five hours. They snapped the chest armour back on and went to find Millie, to inform her that Starscream was going to be alright.

They found her sleeping, taking a few hours break from working. Ratchet nudged her gently. She looked at him groggily, almost annoyed.

"Starscream is in recovery room 701. He needs to be cleaned up after his lengthy repairs. Wheeljack and I are needed elsewhere. Can you help us out?" She perked up, slowly shoved herself to her feet, and went to the recovery room Starscream was resting in. He was coming to as she slipped in. He turned to her, hearing her enter, and struggled to focus, but he was groggy from the sedatives.

"It's just me. You look like you can't see very well, but it's just Millie," she said comfortingly. She put her hands on his arm and his expression softened.

"I wanted you," he told her. She nodded.

"That would in fact be why I'm here," she tested. He smirked weakly.

"I meant, I wanted you before... I wanted you as they brought me back here. Where were you?" He didn't seem angry or jealous. Just curious. Millie relaxed.

"I was helping 'bots already here. Surely you knew I'd be here when you woke up," Millie said raising an eyebrow. Starscream looked away from her.

"I suppose you didn't want to see me anyway." She snorted.

"Why would you think that? You put everything on the line first just to be with me, then to save Optimus. Pretty amazing," she told him. "Even the other Autobots are hailing you as a hero. Looks like you gambled and won a home." He looked back at her.

"I can stay." It was an uneasily spoken statement. Millie smiled and kissed Starscream's cheek.

"Come. There are some 'bots who'd like to see you, and one who would like to thank you," she said, stepping back so the large mecha could stand without her being under foot. Starscream sat up, dizzying himself slightly, then, with a strong wobble, stood. He took several moments to steady himself.

"Are you gonna be ok?" Millie asked. She received no word. Instead, he reached down and lifted her. Holding Millie to his chest, Starscream nervously stepped out of the recovery room and started down the corridor to meet his waiting public. The first to greet him is Bumblebee.

"Glad to see you up and alive, Starscream," he said almost affectionately. He was still wary of the Deceptibot but respected what he had done to preserve the future f the Autobots, and he respected Millie's feelings towards the seeker. Starscream bowed his head slightly. Being praised was new and he was still trying to learn just how he was supposed to react to it. "What you did was very brave, and your actions have made you a hero. We're in your debt, you know."

"Thank you," he said, avoiding eye contact. He felt Millie's hand on his chest as he held her. This strengthened him some. "The future for all would have been bleak had I not done that. I myself would have been killed, and that really was-"

"Oh stop it already. Don't justify your actions, Starscream," Bumblebee said. He shook his head. "At least you haven't changed." He was smiling, and Starscream decided to spare him any abuse for interrupting him.

"Where is Optimis?" Millie asked from her 'throne' in Starscream's hands.

"Probably in the monitor room talking to our connections still on Cybertron," Bumblebee answered with a nod. "But regardless of what he's doing, he'd be happy to see you both," he added. Starscream carried on towards the room Optimus spent a good bit of his time. He passed the big lounge room where the Autobots who weren't injured, or who were recently repaired, were relaxing. Jazz saw him, and called out to him. Starscream cringed. They were delaying something important to him. He stood in the doorway.

"We just want to give you our appreciation," Jazz beamed happily at him. He started to applaud. "You saved us all, Starscream!" The others followed Jazz's example, even the old, grizzled grump in the far corner. Yes, even Ironhide had been moved by Starscream's act, and he and the ex Decepticon made eye contact. Starscream nodded at him.

"Thank you, I'm great, I know this. But excuse me, I need to find Prime," Starscream said, and as he sauntered away with his ego reinflating, Ironhide, though impressed, sighed and rolled his eyes.

"At least he earned his arrogance this time," Jazz said to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Ironhide nodded.

"That he did. That he did."


End file.
